Scarleteen

My boyfriend (17yrs) and I (16yrs) have been going out for a little more then 3 months now and things are going great. He's a sweet guy, caring, funny and I couldn't be happier. For both of us, this is our first time dating so you could say we're total noobs when it comes to the whole relationship scene.

Recently, things have been getting a little touchy and more intimate. I used to believe that I'd never get into this kind of stuff, but I've found out that I kind of like getting touchy with him. When we make out, he likes to touch my butt, feel my sides, sometimes cup my breasts and kiss my neck. I love it when he does those things; it makes me feel amazing. A few nights ago, he asked permission if it was alright to go a little lower and try fingering, provided that I was okay with it (He always asks permission before doing something I may be timid around, another reason when he's a good guy). I said yes so we went ahead and did it. It was a new feeling and something I was okay with because I trust him.

But I've always had a little doubt about what we're doing because I feel like I'm not being fair to him. He'll always be the one feeling me in different ways while I'm just good at making out. He knows I'm very shy and has told me it's okay because if he's making me happy then he's happy, yet I can't kick this doubt. I am no where near confident enough to be bold and go a little lower with him just as he's done with me, it's something I can't see or bring myself to do. I've thought about how full intercourse may be the only way for me to make him feel good in a way he's done to me but I am dead set on NOT doing that while I'm still in highschool. We've both agreed to never do something like that while we're still in school.

So my question again is: Am I not being fair? He's assured me countless times that it's okay and it doesn't bother him but I'm still doubtful. Am I just being silly at this point or is this not really healthy in a relationship?


Thank you in advance for the advice

Hi Dinowl!

With this I'd just point to the fact that he asked you to do the fingering stuff! So it sounds like it's something he wants and probably enjoys rather than being 100% sacrifice for your pleasure. He also sounds like someone for whom consent matters and I imagine (and hope) he wouldn't find it enjoyable for you to do something with his body whcih you don't enjoy.

So from what I'm hearing your relationship sounds quite healthy, I can't be a sole judge on that from over here but it sounds it to me. There's no need to second guess his enjoyment or feel like you should do stuff to make up for what he is doing, especially things which you aren't happy with.

I'd also make sure you're speaking to him about these things so you continue to do stuff you both enjoy. That way things can keep moving forward in a positive way.