Should I be on birth control?

[singergirl33]

Hi!

I have been dating my boyfriend for a while and we both are ready to have sex. I'm 16 and he's 17 and we have done oral before but not the full thing. It is going to be my first time (he's done it before) and I am a little nervous. We are definitely going to use condoms but should I be on the birth control pill too? I don't see us breaking up anytime soon so we would keep doing it and I want to feel protected.
The problem is that my mom wouldn't accept me having sex. I would have to go to the doctor and get it on my own. She can't find out. Also I've heard that the pill lowers your sex drive and might make you gain weight. Is that true?
Is it worth buying birth control or are we okay with just using condoms?

Thank you!!

[Redskies]

Welcome to the boards! This is an excellent question

There isn't the same right answer for everyone - it depends on your own personal circumstances and needs. The underlying question is, how important is it to you to avoid becoming pregnant, and what level of contraceptive protection would make you feel confident and secure?

Condoms, by themselves, are a very effective method of contraception when they're used correctly. We'd always suggest using condoms, because they're the only method that also offers protection from STI transmission. It's important to store and use them correctly, otherwise they're less effective - if you'd like information or a refresher on correct usage, we've got Condom Basics: A User's Manual. Are you and your boyfriend up-to-date with your sexual healthcare, including STI testing?

For people who strongly don't want to become pregnant, we recommend using two methods of contraception together, because that makes the chance of pregnancy tiny. It's human to make a mistake occasonally, even when everyone's being really careful, and if there's a second method then you're still covered A second method doesn't have to be the pill: there are lots of different contraceptive options, and you can pair any of them with condoms. If you'd like to have a look at what there is and think about what might suit you, you can start with Birth Control Bingo!. If you have any questions or you'd like to discuss your options after going through that, we'll be very happy to do that with you!

For more information on the "one or two methods?" question, there's The Buddy System: Effectiveness Rates for Backing Up Your Birth Control With a Second Method

The pill is a medication, and like any medication, it can sometimes have side-effects for some people. We have a lot of information about the pill on the site, which you can find in Combined Oral Contraceptives (The Pill), articles and columns linked from there, and using the search box or the tag for the pill. There are different formulations (very slightly different amounts of hormone) available, and people who aren't happy with any side-effects from one formulation often get on better with a different one, or perhaps with a different contraceptive method. Again, like any medication, everyone responds slightly differently, and different things suit different people's bodies and preferences.

Do you live with your mom? If you live with a parent, they often find out in the end that you're having sex. So, you'd want to think about if and how you could deal with that if you really had to. How do you think she'd respond?

[singergirl33]

Thank you for your fast reply!

Yes I live with my mom, but she is very traditional catholic so she wouldn't be very accepting of my choice. We dont If I use another method of birth control besides a condom, it would still be the pill because I feel like it is the easiest to use, pay for, and obtain.

Since he's more experienced we might end up just using a condom and he could do the withdrawal (I read the post that was talking about the backups).

Thank you so much for your help!

[Onionpie]

Hey singergirl33. I just wanted to let you know that it's totally okay if you're not comfortable with using condoms and the withdrawal method -- "experience" doesn't really come into play with this at all, as it's 100% about what each person feels comfortable with in terms of their own health and reproductive choices. But it sounds like you have a sound plan worked out! Using two methods together, especially when one method is condoms, is super effective, so when you really want minimal risk of pregnancy, buddying up is always the way to go! That's great to hear that you've worked out a plan for which methods suit you