Hi vermaanita,
You mentioned some misconceptions about virginity in your post that I thought it would be helpful to talk about here. The first is that virginity is not a set, physical state. Different people define it differently. You can read more about that here: 20 Questions About Virginity: Scarleteen Interviews Hanne Blank
The other was the idea that you bleed no matter what the first time you have intercourse. While that is common (due to people being nervous or inexperienced), it's not something that's supposed to happen. If you bleed or sex is painful, that's a sign that something else is going on that needs to be addressed.
Virginity clarification
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Virginity clarification
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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