What's wrong with me?

[Memekid]

Ever since Early April, I've been drastically different. All because of me having a run in with someone I now deem a pedophile.
We met on IMVU and he convinced me to get a Skype account two years ago. I ended up doing so which lead to many uncomfortable video calls. My boyfriend told me to leave him and I ended up blocking the guy during a chat.
Everything seemed fine and dandy until I thought it would be a great idea to message him on KIK. What especially shocked me was that he messaged me everyday despite the fact that I wasn't there. He immediately responded and started ranting about me leaving. I ended up messaging a very formal message about why I didn't want to be involved with him anymore.
He only complained and said it was bullshit.
After that, I cried all the time and felt fear in just about every place I was at. I couldn't even eat anymore and I remember a time when I only ate a couple bites of spaghetti for an entire day. I have had intrusive thoughts and I somehow took the messages as him hunting me down and killing me. I felt numb and at times it feels as if I wasn't even living anymore. Suicide even seemed like a good option sometimes.
This lead to me eventually messaging him about my fears but he seemed unemotional about it. He even said that forgetting old friends is "shit" and begged me to come back on Skype. We made a deal that I would stay and chat for at least a month until he had his brain surgery. I only did it because it made my stress more stabilized.
During our first chat in years, Dad came in and mom took away my laptop. This was a good thing though, because I didn't want to be involved with him anymore.
I still had my previous symptoms except they have been getting a little better over time. I no longer cry or think of suicide. I even finish my plate at dinner.
I am concerned about my self and I want to rid myself of him forever. I am still feeling unsafe at times.
His cousin even came on IMVU a few minutes later after I talked to him and told me how happy she was that I was involved with him. I never told her I was actually underage.
What should I even do now to finally go back to normal?

P.s - I think there's a rule here about three forums to a user or something like that. Mind explaining a little bit more on that?

[Sam W]

Hi memekid,

Given how this guy was behaving (which was highly, highly predatory, but I sense you know that), it makes sense that your brain felt like it had been through a wringer. There's nothing wrong about that, it's just how your brain reacts to someone manipulating you.

Since you're now seeing a therapist (if that's not still happening, feel free to correct me), this incident is definitely something to bring up with them. They can help you start working through the feelings you have around it and give you the tools to move on from it. Too, if you haven't already done so, blocking him on any channels where he could still access you can help you feel more secure.

You mention you still feel unsafe at times. Can you tell me a little more about that?

We prefer to have users discussing an issue or situation in as few threads as possible, as that cuts down on confusion or miscommunication. So, how does making this the primary thread where you talk to us sound to you?

[Memekid]

I'm worried the therapist will tell mom though. I felt unsafe whenever I was anywhere in my town. I couldn't feel safe unless it was a room with no windows. I only told him my state and country, but I suppose he'd forgot that since it had been so long. That sounds great.
I feel so weak and fearful at the time of writing. I'm starting to worry my bf is a predator as well.

[Heather]

It's always a good idea to ask any healthcare provider who has not done so already - either verbally, or in paperwork they gave you as a new patient - to discuss their confidentiality policies with you as a patient.

So, what you can do, and again, what's always a good idea as any kind of patient, period, is simply ask them to fill you in on their confidentiality policies before you disclose anything you're concerned about your privacy with. You can also ask them to specifically tell you what those policies are when treating minors, particularly around disclosing anything you discuss with them to parents.

[Heather]

I think there's a rule here about three forums to a user or something like that. Mind explaining a little bit more on that?

Just FYI, we don't have a rule like this, so that isn't something you need to worry about. And you can always review the terms of the user registration agreement via the FAQ link at the top of the forums.

[Memekid]

I'll be sure to ask the therapist whenever I actually go. Thanks for specifing forum rules too.

[Karyn]

Is there any clear information about when you might get a chance to see a therapist? There's a lot you have to talk about with them, and it would be good if possible to get an appointment sooner rather than later.

[Memekid]

We didn't make an appointment yet unfortunately.