Perplexing Thoughts

[Someone]

I reconnected with an old friend.
We originally met five years ago, eventually it got to a point of becoming a crush, which I never told them about.
Near the end of highschool we got busy with our lives and lost touch.
A few months ago I bumped into them, we swapped numbers, and I've called them several times since then.
I think I got feelings for him again but I don't know if it's an actual infatuation or some odd form of nostalgia, or if I'm drawn to them because they're a familiar thing at a time in my life when everything is changing, I'm in my early 20's.
He has been extremely nice and helpful to me with a lot of things.

I don't want to tell him anything because I don't want to risk ruining our friendship and I'm not sure I'm ready to persue any type of romantic or sexual relationship with anyone.

All I want is to figure out how I feel about this person.

Sometimes when I think about him I do sort of have sexual and romantic feelings but other times no?

This is confusing.

[Jacob]

Hi Someone!

It might be that a combination of all those factors you mention above play into the way you're feeling about that person.

Often there is something about a person that helps us connect to them in that way, even when nostalgia and infatuation are involved.

Perhaps time is a factor here too, which will help it become clear. If you're enjoying interracting and having a friendship, if that can feel relaxed for you, and you don't feel ready for a romantic/sexual relationship then you also have a chance to see what your friendship looks like, and to see how you feel about the friendship in practise rather than as a crush.

But, it also sounds like you're quite stressed about the situation, and, these factors also might make a friendship difficult... so you could decide to spend less time together and spend more time with other friends... that's totally ok too, and might be the better option.

Whichever way you go these are both valid options. I've found it hard, but sometimes rewarding to step away from relationships that feel too emotionally complicated for me to understand, especially in times of stress or change. I don't want to end up hurting anyone or getting hurt so getting some perspective or distance is important to me. Do you think that could be helpful for you too?

[Someone]

Our friendship does feel relaxed for the most part I guess. I haven't seen or heard from him in awhile
We've both been busy lately so, I'm kind of already giving myself space.

[Marlet]

I feel this is normal, but then it could be hurting, if you start expecting love from him too. So, I think it would be nice if you give yourself some space.