Scarleteen Holidays: Our direct services, including these message boards will be closed Christmas Day (12/25), 1st day of Hanukkah (12/26), and New Year’s Day (1/1).

I'm fat. How can I be on top?

Questions and discussion about your sexual lives, choices, activities, ideas and experiences.
melbr85
newbie
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Sep 19, 2016 8:19 pm
Age: 39
Awesomeness Quotient: Always happy
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She/her
Sexual identity: Open
Location: Brazil

I'm fat. How can I be on top?

Unread post by melbr85 »

Hi guys!
I've been dating a guy for a while and I've tried a few times to be on top but it never works, I can't get his dick in. I'm fat (250) but he's not. But he's got a small penis. I never had this problem before with my ex.
Have anyone ever had this problem?
Tips on how to make it work are very welcome! ;)
Jacob
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 1231
Joined: Tue Jul 29, 2014 3:33 am
Age: 36
Primary language: English
Pronouns: They
Location: Leeds UK

Re: I'm fat. How can I be on top?

Unread post by Jacob »

Hi mel! Welcome to scarleteen!

Things not quite 'fitting' the way you want them when you have a particular position in mind, is very common indeed. It tends to be simply because our bodies all vary so much, yet if we're not careful we develop an idea that what works with one person (or one partner) will work with another. But as you've found in this case that's not quite true.

Being with a partner, it can be better just to build on what does work. Maybe the reasons you wanted to be in that position are things you can achieve in other ways. Learning eachothers bodies more will help with that. If there is an angle or a cushion that would make all the difference for you, it's something you'll only find through experimentation and communication. It might also just be that your bodies together don't 'do' a certain position, and that's ok too...

I'd really recommend reading our piece on positions: Left Foot, Red, Right Hand, Green: The Deal on Sex Positions
"In between two tall mountains there's a place they call lonesome.
Don't see why they call it lonesome.
I'm never lonesome when I go there." Connie Converse - Talkin' Like You
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 9734
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
Age: 54
Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
Primary language: english
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: I'm fat. How can I be on top?

Unread post by Heather »

By the way, if you don't already have a copy, I would strongly recommend my good friend Hanne Blank's book, "Big Big Love, Revised: A Sex and Relationships Guide for People of Size (and Those Who Love Them)."

It's fantastic, and really tackles pretty much everything a person needs to know when it comes to sex of size. :)
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
Post Reply Previous topicNext topic