How can I tell if I'm bisexual or not?
I'm 15, and I've always thought I was straight, though I don't know if I never really thought about it in my case, but just knew the stereotypical boy/girl heterosexual relationship, and didn't know there was such thing as being gay or bi.
I'm in an all girls school, and the other day I randomly imagined kissing my (girl) friend. I don't know if that was because someone came out to me the other day, or if I've just been burying that sort of feeling.
Lots of people and articles on different websites say that coming out is accepting who you are, and that it's good to do that, but I'm worried that as I don't actually know if I'm bi, that I might come out and then realise I'm not bi.
I just don't know if I am or not...
How do I Know???
-
Heather
- scarleteen founder & director
- Posts: 9703
- Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
- Age: 54
- Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: they/them
- Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
- Location: Chicago
Re: How do I Know???
Like I was just saying to another user asking something similar about a sexuality, all anyone ever has to -- and ever can! -- do when it comes to if and how they identify any part of their sexual identity is do that for the right now, based on what they know about themselves so far, and are experiencing today.
Too, no one has to come out, no matter their sexual identity, or do so at a given time. So, you both get to figure out, in whatever time period you need, how (and if) you want to identify as bisexual, as well as who, if anyone, you tell about your orientation (no matter what it is: straight people don't have to be out, either).
So, why not just give yourself all the time you need here? I just wrote a piece for Teen Vogue last week that talked about how there's no need to struggle with trying to make this word (or any other) fit or not, you can instead just kind of let it come to you. You can check that out here, if you like: http://www.teenvogue.com/story/what-its ... e-bisexual
Too, no one has to come out, no matter their sexual identity, or do so at a given time. So, you both get to figure out, in whatever time period you need, how (and if) you want to identify as bisexual, as well as who, if anyone, you tell about your orientation (no matter what it is: straight people don't have to be out, either).
So, why not just give yourself all the time you need here? I just wrote a piece for Teen Vogue last week that talked about how there's no need to struggle with trying to make this word (or any other) fit or not, you can instead just kind of let it come to you. You can check that out here, if you like: http://www.teenvogue.com/story/what-its ... e-bisexual
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
-
Hopeful
- newbie
- Posts: 2
- Joined: Sun Sep 25, 2016 7:11 am
- Age: 23
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: She/Her
- Location: London
Re: How do I Know???
Thankyou! I guess I do just need to take a step back from it and stop worrying about it. There's no pressure on me to come out, or work out what I identify as, so I can just take my time...