Scarleteen

I feel like we get a lot of messages in our culture, particularly women, to be sexy in a really specific way. I used to try sometimes to fit into that particular definition of "sexy" -- I bought La Senza/Victoria's Secret lingerie although it didn't feel "me"-like at all, I felt pretty ridiculous in it. I took burlesque lessons which I found pretty frustrating because I just could NOT wiggle my hips the right way. In recent years, I've become more comfortable with myself, and have decided that I really am just not that particular kind of sexy, and I don't have to be.

MY kind of sexy does NOT involve super-lacy underwear. Cute cartoony prints on boyshorts is much more ME. And I just am NOT good at "sexy" dancing. Or any kind of dancing... my kind of sexy involves playing the music, not dancing to it I have my own personal kind of sexy that does not fit the "expected" standards of society's "sexy", and that's just as awesome and valid as if it did fit those standards. I'm still sexy in my very own way

Being sexy is really all about you, YOUR sexuality, and how YOU feel -- so, what makes YOU feel sexy, whether it fits society's definition or not? Maybe you don't even feel comfortable using the word "sexy" -- what word do you feel suits you and your expression of your own sexuality?

I'm definitely someone who feels sexy in pretty typical ways (I like corsets, lacy clothes, tight clothes). But I only really got confident about my own sexiness when I found that I could add touches that felt like me, be that stompy boots, or "too bright" or weirdly colored make-up, spikes, or nerdy bits and pieces (like my he-man print dress). Something about making it clear that sexiness and how I present myself are artifices, are a little performative, made it easier for me to relax in to my own skin. Earlier in my life, I way very invested in the idea of looking naturally sexy, whatever that means, and it was exhausting trying to pretend that nope, my lips are just naturally a little pink, and my boobs sit on my frame that way because of magic and not a bra.

I think, for me, when I say I feel sexy, I usually mean I feel confident. Sometimes the way I look plays into that, but I have felt just as confident in clothes that were stained in mice guts (long story) as I do all dressed up for fancy dinner out.

I personally like Victoria's secret products & as far as dancing I need a slower pace to learn a dance , I would like to learn burelesque

For me, sexy is being fit. I feel the most confident or the sexiest after a good swim, jog or workout. Of course, sexy lingerie or tight clothes also do make me feel sexy, but if I feel fit and have a toned body, then I feel sexy from within.

For me sexy feels like understanding my body parts as agender, and recognising myself as becoming the person I want to be. Also when I can motivate myself to take care of my hygeine too. I also feel sexy when I draw pictures of myself and my partners being affectionate, or self-love, and showing them to my partners (Since we're long distance, I've relied on that expression a lot).

I actually haven't thought about the particular things that make me feel sexy, I think this is a neat question!
So, sexy clothing like lace and corsets do make me feel sexy, but being naked in front of a mirror can make me feel sexy as well. Or being in an oversized sweater. If I like the way I look at any given moment and it fits who I am, the confidence of that makes me feel sexy. I'm also a dancer, and while not all dancing makes me feel sexy(ballet makes me feel strong, but not sexy) there is some dancing that does. When I'm doing hip-hop I tend to feel sexy. But mostly, when I'm outside at a drum circle or a dance, and the music is playing and I get lost in every movement of my body, I feel alive and, often, sexy too!

This may sound odd, but sexual things like moaning or being tied up and kind of letting loose with my body make me feel sexy. Driving my partner to the point where he's let go makes me feel sexy too. So, I guess sexy to me is when I'm confident and when I'm letting loose an expressing myself(mostly through my body with clothing, dancing, sexual acts, etc.).

my "sexy" tends to be similar to the last part of kittens' post, but it also includes traditionally "Feminine" things like panties, as for dances and the like I just can't do it, no sense of rhythm, unless booty-shaking in private counts. also when my partner compliments a specific aspect of me, like knowing that someone out there *wants* me, and that I'd be able to fulfill that desire. sometimes I'll do a pseudo-striptease for myself alone in front of the bathroom mirror, and that works wonders, and also just masturbating, even if I'm not thinking of anyone, is great, since its sorta like showing myself that I'm hot to the point where I don't always need another person. To add to this, I'll often before going into the "action" just caressing all over myself, further adding to being fully immersed in my own body and pleasure (sorry if this was a rant, contradictory, doesn't belong in this thread,was too specific, or otherwise didn't make sense)