Scarleteen

Okay. So basically, my best friend is now hitting puberty pretty hard with me. We watched some porn a few times and he was okay with that (waited for him to give oral consent don't want to push boundaries.) Anyways I asked him this summer if he wanted to masturbate (together but not eachother) and he seemed interested. Then he left for the summer. I don't know how I could put it back out there without sounding totally weird, (and this is going to sound totally weird) but I think mutual masturbation is really hot in general, and being so intimate with a person is a really nice feeling (even if it's not purely sexual.) I read into peoples' reactions a lot (a hobby, sorta), and he seemed sort of aroused.

We've been good friends for several years and I don't want to mess up our relationship.

Should I just let go of my fantasies?

I don't know what to do!

Edit: Also like to note that I'm sooooo nervous about anything relating to stuff like this IRL so direct approach = not possible.

Welcome to the boards!

I certainly sympathise about feeling nervous, but really, whenever we're wanting to become sexual in some way with another person, the only way forward is to communicate clearly about it first. For sure, it can feel very awkward and nerve-wracking to bring it up, but not communicating at all has a very high chance of bringing far, far more awkward into the mix.

You and he have communicated about this before, and you said he seemed interested. So, you do have an opening to bring it up with him again if you want to. You could refer to that previous conversation and ask him if he's interested.

What ways are you concerned that this might mess up your friendship?

I'm really not sure how to ask him; and, I don't want to change his opinion of me.

You know, I generally feel like it's safe to say that if we don't feel comfortable asking someone to do something sexual with us, then we're not yet ready to do that sexual thing with them.

So, sounds like right now, you're not feeling comfortable bringing it up, which suggests to me it's not time yet for you to do that.

@Heather

If you could remove the paragraph on top, and how long I've known him, that would be much appreciated. Thanks.

We do ask in the user agreement that you agreed to when you signed up that users only post things that you're happy to have stay on the boards. We don't remove anything from our own records, but rarely we may move a post to a staff-only area, out of public view, if a user feels they really need that.

I've made the number of years approximate, as you asked, to increase your anonymity.

(If your username here isn't anonymous to people who know you, you can change it by clicking on your username towards the top right, click user control panel, click "edit account settings" from the menu on the left.)