Scarleteen

I've been with my girlfriend for 8 months now and we haven't been able to have sex properly yet.. and I'm worried it could end our relationship.. I have an unusually thick penis and it's very very thick when erect and she is very tiny like size 5 so when we try to have sex it is painful for her and I can only get the tip in a little bit and wont go in any further.. we have tried lube and all that but it only helps a little bit.. I can try pushing in harder but it hurts her too much .. it just feels weird and I don't want to do any damage to her help please.. or can I get a penis reduction or something?

Hi Seth-Aaron,

So, in addition to continuing to use a lot of lube, you're going to want to spend a lot of time on foreplay and other activities that aren't penis in vagina intercourse. If someone is not all the way aroused, that can make insertion difficult. If it's been painful in the past, there's a chance she's tensing up in anticipation of that pain whenever you try it, so focusing on her being really relaxed might help as well.

Too, even if you experiment and use lots of lube and penetration is painful, that doesn't mean you two can't have a satisfying sex life. Plenty of people have happy, pleasurable sex that doesn't involve Penis/vagina intercourse. So it will also help to broaden what you think "counts" as sex. Does that make sense?

Something to add to Sam W's post is communication. You mention that she might be tensing up in anticipation and, now that she knows what to expect, that very well could be happening. I think something that could help temper her anxiety is talking openly about the "problem" and letting her know that you will both find a sexual rhythm that works for both of you. Furthermore, communicating during sex is crucial in times like these. Let her know what you are doing, what your next move will be, and let her tell you how she is feeling and what is working/not working.