Ball licking and STIs?

[Mysterious]

I normally get tested before having sex with a new guy and only do it if we are both monogamous. I'm breaking my rules having sex with someone who already is having sex with a girlfriend. I told him I want him to get tested. I don't think he will but he says he would sleep around more if given the chance and not tell me anyway. So I couldn't really trust test results for long if he did.

We've had vaginal and anal sex with condoms. He's gone down on me (I'm a girl) and other than about 30 seconds the first time I've only given him head with a condom. He's grumbled and what sometimes ends up happening is he asks me to lick his balls as he jacks off. I've been cool with doing that.

How far around the dick is there still a STI danger? Is ball sucking really the same risk level as licking the sides of his dick as long as I stay away from cum in my mouth? Or is it the same risk as rubbing up against his balls with my body when he's inside me anyway?

[Sam W]

Hi Mysterious,

If ejaculate is present and gets in your mouth, then it would carry the same risks as unprotected oral sex. And you'd likely still have risks for anything that can be transmitted skin to skin.

My bigger concern is that this guy sounds very disrespectful of your needs and safety when it comes to sex (his comments about STIs and multiple partners and his dislike of you using a condom for oral sex). Does this same kind of behavior turn up in other parts of your relationship with him? And are you happy in this relationship, both the sexual part and the non-sexual part?