Scarleteen

Hello. My boyfriend is wanting more contact next time we meet up.. But I'm nervous. I'm not scared of him or uncomfortable with it but I don't know exactly what I should do.. So I'm asking for help and advice. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 months.. But I feel unprepared.. Please help..

~EternalChaos

The only solid advice it's possible to give is to ask him what he wants when he says more contact. Sexuality is so diverse, and everyone enjoys different things, so he's the only person who's going to be able to tell you what he means. It might seem like an awkward thing to do, but communication is an essential part of healthy relationships, particularly when it comes to sex, so the sooner you get in the habit of talking with your partner, the better.

As an example, were I in your shoes and my boyfriend had asked for more contact, I would just say something like, "Hey, you know how last time you said you wanted more contact? I'm not sure what you mean by that...what kind of contact would you like?"

I understand that it's a good idea to keep open communications in a relationship and I try my best to.. But I'm shy and my boyfriend is even shyer than me. I continually offer to answer any questions he has or I ask him if he's confused or curious about anything. I'm trying but he is really shy unless its right in the moment. Thank you though. You gave me some ideas.

~EternalChaos

Can I also ask if you have any sense of what would help you to feel more prepared?

In other words, is this about information you feel you don't have, about sex in general, and/or about your boyfriend and what he wants? Or lacking a sense of what YOU want?

Is it about all of this feeling too soon for you in terms of your own pace, so feeling unprepared because this is just something that feels too fast per where you are and what you feel ready for?