Can't Orgasm With Partner?

[c00lbean]

Hi!

I'm fifteen and I started having sex with my seventeen year old boyfriend a few months ago. We love each other and we're very close, and we have sex frequently. It feels good, but at the same time it always hurts a bit. We use a lot of lubricant but I'm almost never horny when we start. I do it because I want to do it, but usually it's very spontaneous, I am in no way being pressured into it. We've had sessions for hours, however I can't reach an orgasm! No matter if he eats me out or if we use positions that are supposed to feel good for the woman, I can't orgasm. I can orgasm by myself, though. Usually by fingering myself or by using an electric toothbrush on my clitoris. It's starting to stress me out to even have sex with him because I know I won't be able to cum even if I really want to. I'm pretty sure it makes him feel bad about his size, too, because he talks about how he wishes he was bigger. I've had boys finger me before and only one of them have been able to make me orgasm with my help. Is there something wrong with me? I want to orgasm to feel the connection between my boyfriend and I and to be able to feel that sense of relief but I can't get to it! Can someone please give me advice on what's wrong or what to do? Thank you so much.

[Sam W]

Hi C00lbean

It sounds like there are a few things going on here. The first is that if you're not aroused when you start, your brain isn't likely to be super engaged in what's going on. Our brains are our largest sexual organ, so if they're not really aroused orgasm becomes less likely.

You mention that you can orgasm via masturbation. Have you had him try the same things on you that you use on yourself, like the vibrator? Because, from what we know, most people with vagina's can't orgasm from vaginal stimulation alone. Clitoral stimulation is required as well. You may find this article really helpful: The Great No-Orgasm-from-Intercourse Conundrum