Sex addiction

[EvaPGlaze]

Hi all, I am from Toronto and I am 19 years old. The topic 'sex' was always an interested one for me and I was eager to know more about it. It was at the age of 15 when I had a date with my bf and from that day till now I always like to have it. My first bf was not able to find enough time for me and that was the reason for our break up. Now I am in a serious relationship for the past 8 months and I really really love him. I am always on sex thought and I need it every day. I have discussed regarding this with one of my friends and she said that it's not normal!I have been diagnosed with OCD 2 years before and I am on Effexor and Fluvoxamine. I watch a lot of porn videos and I can't go on a single day without it! I am more active than my bf on the bed and I don't bother what he might think about me at that time. But I really feel guilty after the session. Recently I noticed that he is not showing interest to date with me and I am sure that my high sex drive is the reason and he might not like the way how I am! I am satisfying myself with the porn videos for the past 2 weeks, but I can't control myself and I am reaching a stage where I need anyone to satisfy me (but I swear I love my bf truly). I am totally confused and I don't know what to do. I can't share this with anyone. While searching in the web I found some sex addiction recovery centres like Edgewood Health Network. Many are there, but this one is near to our area. So I am planning to get a secret treatment from them. I need your guidance before approaching them. Can you please share your thoughts?

[Sam W]

Hi Eva,

To start off with, there's a difference between having a high sex drive (where there is no "normal" by the way. People have different drives, and those drives vary across the lifetime) and feeling as those masturbation or sex are becoming activities that you engage in compulsively even though you may not enjoy them. Do you feel like what you're experiencing falls closer to that first or second category? When you say you think about sex everyday, do those thoughts interfere with your ability to do things you need to do (go to school or work, spend time with friends, etc)

With your boyfriend, have you talked with him about how your feeling and your worries that your sex drive is bothering him? Has he ever expressed concerns about it (or an enjoyment of it)?

I would suggest waiting a little before seeking out "sex addiction" treatment. That's an area where plenty of credible sources feel that there is not enough evidence to use an addiction framework for treatment in the first place. If you have an OCD diagnosis, are you currently seeing a therapist to work with you on that?