Hello everyone. This is my first post here, and I just like to say that I looked for this information, but didn't find it so ai have to ask (if it was already answered, please direct me to the thread).
So, I read a lot about sex, never actually had it. What I still don't know is how it actually goes, and I don't mean the juicy stuff, rather the technicalities.
- when does a guy get ereciton when the intimacy starts? If right away, is it a problem for him to keep it hard while girl is still phisically preparing?
- after the guy ejaculates, and his penis goes back to normal, does that happen instantly or no? And should people take a break after guy ejaculates, like for a moment or so?
- is lying on back really the most comfortable position for first time sex (I've read that girl being on top would allow penis to go in deeper and therefor hurt the girl)
- is it comfortable to kiss during intercourse?
Big thank you to anyone who helps! If someone could write their experience or how it goes on average with answers to my questions or anything similar that you think I should know and could use would be great! I really want to have all the information before i dive into anything, because I kinda feel emabarassed that I'm 21 and still never had sex with a partner (and all the theory is a good compensation to lack of practical knowledge).
How does PIV sex actually look like?
-
NewbieAdult
- newbie
- Posts: 2
- Joined: Fri Oct 21, 2016 2:51 pm
- Age: 29
- Awesomeness Quotient: Reason
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: She/her
- Sexual identity: Uncertain yet
- Location: Belgrade
-
Mo
- previous staff/volunteer
- Posts: 2287
- Joined: Thu Jul 31, 2014 2:57 pm
- Awesomeness Quotient: I'm always wearing seriously fancy nail polish.
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: he/him, they/them
- Sexual identity: queer/bisexual
Re: How does PIV sex actually look like?
Hi there, NewbieAdult, and welcome to Scarleteen. 
A penis isn't limited to being 0% or 100% erect; during sex (which I'm using here to mean "all the intimate activities people are doing when they're being sexual" and not any one sex act) someone's penis could fluctuate from fully erect to partially erect and back again a bit. As to when, specifically, an erection happens, that will depend a lot on someone's level of arousal, age, and other health considerations. Some folks have no problem maintaining an erection for a long period of time but that's not universal.
Whether partners take a break in sexual activity after ejaculation is just down to personal preference; there's no "should" there. Most people will find that their erection goes away fairly soon after ejaculation but again, the timing will vary a bit from person to person.
As far as positions so, that's also another thing that varies a lot from person to person. Being on top can sometimes involve deeper insertion but it can also give the person on top a bit more control as to the speed & depth of insertion, so some folks find it preferable. Any time you're having sex - any kind of sex, not just intercourse! - for the first time, it's always ok to try a few different things and make adjustments as needed. Whether someone enjoys kissing during intercourse will depend on both position and on personal preference; some folks enjoy it, some don't, others are indifferent; and of course, some positions will make it very difficult!
I hope this helps! There's really no way to describe an average experience of sex because the kinds of sex people have and enjoy varies SO much from person to person. But if you have other questions, feel free to ask! You might also find it helpful to poke around on our main site, either by category or by using the search function.
A penis isn't limited to being 0% or 100% erect; during sex (which I'm using here to mean "all the intimate activities people are doing when they're being sexual" and not any one sex act) someone's penis could fluctuate from fully erect to partially erect and back again a bit. As to when, specifically, an erection happens, that will depend a lot on someone's level of arousal, age, and other health considerations. Some folks have no problem maintaining an erection for a long period of time but that's not universal.
Whether partners take a break in sexual activity after ejaculation is just down to personal preference; there's no "should" there. Most people will find that their erection goes away fairly soon after ejaculation but again, the timing will vary a bit from person to person.
As far as positions so, that's also another thing that varies a lot from person to person. Being on top can sometimes involve deeper insertion but it can also give the person on top a bit more control as to the speed & depth of insertion, so some folks find it preferable. Any time you're having sex - any kind of sex, not just intercourse! - for the first time, it's always ok to try a few different things and make adjustments as needed. Whether someone enjoys kissing during intercourse will depend on both position and on personal preference; some folks enjoy it, some don't, others are indifferent; and of course, some positions will make it very difficult!
I hope this helps! There's really no way to describe an average experience of sex because the kinds of sex people have and enjoy varies SO much from person to person. But if you have other questions, feel free to ask! You might also find it helpful to poke around on our main site, either by category or by using the search function.
-
NewbieAdult
- newbie
- Posts: 2
- Joined: Fri Oct 21, 2016 2:51 pm
- Age: 29
- Awesomeness Quotient: Reason
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: She/her
- Sexual identity: Uncertain yet
- Location: Belgrade
Re: How does PIV sex actually look like?
Thank you for your answer, it is kinda helpful (and also intimidating a bit lol).
I tried searching on the site, but kind ahad no luck.
I would also like to ask how messy can intercourse get? Does lubricant (either vaginal discharge or those you buy in the pharmacy) get all over the croth/legs/sheets during?
Also, after the guy takes off condom, does he need cleaning up?
Thank you again for taking time to answer me!
I tried searching on the site, but kind ahad no luck.
I would also like to ask how messy can intercourse get? Does lubricant (either vaginal discharge or those you buy in the pharmacy) get all over the croth/legs/sheets during?
Also, after the guy takes off condom, does he need cleaning up?
Thank you again for taking time to answer me!
-
Heather
- scarleteen founder & director
- Posts: 9703
- Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
- Age: 54
- Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: they/them
- Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
- Location: Chicago
Re: How does PIV sex actually look like?
Again, there's no real answer to this because even just how this one kind of sex goes is super-diverse. Sometimes things get super messy. Other times, they won't involve any more cleanup than is involved in using the toilet.
I'm wondering if it might not be more productive, and useful to you, to talk about what has you feeling like you have to know - you can't, really, of course - exactly how this activity will go before you engage in it. I don't know if it's even something you have any desire to do, or anyone in particular you want to be sexual with right now, but assuming you do have an interest in having this kind of sex, it sounds like you feel pretty nervous and fearful. How about we talk about where you feel like those feelings are coming from?
I'm wondering if it might not be more productive, and useful to you, to talk about what has you feeling like you have to know - you can't, really, of course - exactly how this activity will go before you engage in it. I don't know if it's even something you have any desire to do, or anyone in particular you want to be sexual with right now, but assuming you do have an interest in having this kind of sex, it sounds like you feel pretty nervous and fearful. How about we talk about where you feel like those feelings are coming from?
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead