Scarleteen

When thinking about how to effectively communicate with friends, family, or partners, it helps to have a sense of what topics are hard for you to discuss. For instance, you may have a hard time sharing your insecurities or hesitate to discuss what you want from a relationship. If you have those hard spots, what are they? And if you found ways to manage them, what techniques worked for you? For instance, if you're someone who has a hard time voicing boundaries, practicing setting them in low stakes situations helps you get used to the process so the first time you try it is not a super important moment.

I'm 41 now but when I was a young teen I could never talk to my parents about sex. In our house sex was only for marriage and same sex relationships were the "devils work." Consequently I had a lot of sex when I was very young with both males and females and looking back they were not healthy relationships. My mom is 65 now and still does not know that my current partner is female. I think as we get older we either mimic the parenting we grew up with or we take the opposite route and parent completely opposite. I'm happy that I took the opposite approach.

Great topic, Sam! I have a super hard time expressing insecurity and negative emotions to people, as I've grown up with this atmosphere that talking about or showing my emotions/feeling insecure = "wallowing in self-pity" or being "weak". What I've found helpful is first taking baby steps by talking to people I trust about these things via text (as I find I express things a lot better in writing, and it also means I'm minimizing the vulnerability a bit by not being face-to-face) and then once I've stuck my toe in the water and they've responded positively, I feel safer to start talking about vulnerable things face-to-face. I still find it incredibly hard, but it helps a bit.

Actually I never thought of this. Me and my BF are almost okay talking about everything.

Honestly, I think just discussing that I or a partner might be unhappy about something in our relationship is the hardest thing. Especially if the relationship has been going a while, it feels like there is more to lose. But I know to fight the instinct to just keep the peace and face things.