Scarleteen

This is happening here today.

And there's been so much sexism throughout, that one thing that's been really squelched or demeaned or mocked are women -- and/or people raised as girls and women, regardless of their identities now -- having feelings about this when it comes to gender.

I've basically been weeping for a couple days already about this, and it's only going to get worse (even though they are happytears, so it's not like it's a problem or anything, save the impossibility of keeping my glasses clean), and a lot of it has to do with gender.

I wanted to share a bunch of thoughts I left on Twitter this morning with all of you, and open the floor for anyone to talk about what this means to them today, whether you're in the states or not. Because it matters, and IMO, it matters A LOT.

Here's my spiel:

Today means so many different things to so many people. It has a lot of different kinds of meaning and relevance for me, too.

That certainly includes that the Italian side of family came here to *escape* fascism, so it being squelched today Means Things.

But I'm someone who was assigned girl status from the front, raised as a girl, and who came from women with very limited choices. I'm also someone raised as a girl who had -- however I feel about it -- strong leadership qualities from the get-go.

So, this matters so much to me as someone whose Irish grandmother bore nine without any choice in the matter, until her womb only bore sadness, pain and death.The women in her family, by virtue of gender & economics, could be in servitude to men as nuns or as wives. Those were the choices.

This matters to me as the great-granddaughter & grandaughter of Italian women immigrants who cleaned up after the men in their homes, and then, with little other work available for those who spoke little to no English, also cleaned & tended the houses of other men.

This matters to me as the daughter of a mother in a family of mostly boys, the eldest once her sister went into the convent, who became a mini-mother, cleaning up after her father & brothers; working at hospitals starting at 13, and bossed around by men there. A mother who, with her fellow nurses when I was a child, I later heard bossed around, demeaned and denied leadership by doctors, all men.

It was considered a huge win that I would have a choice about when and if I became a mother. That work could be open to me besides wife and mother, nun, nurse or housekeeper. Because for those women before me, those were the only choices.

And here I am, none of those things. A leader, no less. My own boss, even, with no men in the picture at all bossing me around.No men I am in not only in direct servitude to, but a servitude presumed right, as it should be, and as it simply is. When I was growing up, I ransacked the library of all the books about women like Jane Addams, Harriet Tubman, Marie Curie: leaders. But there was always a big cap on all of that, clear from the front. They could only reach so high, lead so much.

(None of this is even accounting for all the abuse or assault so many of us all too easily suffered under men and male supremacy.)

But TODAY. (Here come all the tears again.) It's TODAY. The day when one of the biggest caps gets popped off, finally. When all the women I have come from get some big vindication.

When little girls, some so little they later might not even remember what was before, see that they can truly lead as high as it goes.That's happening: for the great-grandmothers, grandmothers, mothers, sisters, me and all the little girls of yore and right now. TODAY. At last. And I feel like it heals something huge for the little girl I was, and, hopefully, the little girls so many once were.

This one’s for you, girls. There will still be so many challenges and barriers. But: I hope you have a magnificent moment today. A moment where you take in what's happening and it makes you feel limitless, on fire & so freaking in charge you can hardly stand it.

Hi Heather,
I really, really like what you wrote, and I think it's inspiring, despite the election results. I imagine that those happy tears of yours have turned to sad tears or maybe anger, and I understand. I remember making a Hillary sign on construction paper when I was 8. So, I just wanted to empathize and recognize that women's struggles will continue. Someday, hopefully soon, a woman will lead our country successfully and intelligently, and I can't wait for that day.

I really really wanted to see a woman in one of the most powerful roles in the world.

As a little kid, I lived in a country with a Queen and a female Prime Minister: the ceremonial Head of State and the political leader, both women. Being a country's leader was a job for a woman, was a job that could be a woman's, was a self-evident fact. That matters to me, and I think it's mattered my whole life. I wanted that for more of us, and I wanted it to happen in a more inclusive, meaningful way.

It didn't offset that all the other powerful people around the PM were men - that these women were clearly exceptions. Didn't make that leadership a feminist leadership, or make the policies any better for women, young people, or poorer people. Didn't offset the sexism about Thatcher (to this day and onward, I find that the absolute vitriol said about Thatcher comes from sexism - I'm in extreme political disagreement with her and her policies, but I think she was one of a particular kind of conservative of the time, and not the light-years-worse than anyone-manone that she's usually made out to be). Didn't offset my mother's experiences of having authority as a woman - admired for being unwomanly for having authority, put down for being less of a woman - and didn't offset my own experiences of seeing flawed male leaders around me broadly admired and respected, while I can hardly think of any female leaders who were generally respected in their profession among the groups I was with - there were fewer women leaders, and most that existed weren't respected or valued. I am tired of men being the celebrated, visible leaders, and women being their under-recognised underrated assistants. Ultimately, I never wanted to be anyone's assistant. I saw more young men around me guided and helped towards leadership, while more of what was suggested for me was the "worthy", under-appreciated, assistant -type stuff. That is important, it makes the world go round, I do that too! But why help men towards leadership and women towards assistantship? Maybe I Want To Be The Boss Some Day. Maybe Some Folk Will Miss Out If I'm Not.

But still, there they were, those women who were national leaders. Someone who was a little bit like me, at least in that way. It was a job for someone who was maybe like me.

It's boggling that there isn't more of that available in the world, and not just about gender. The amount of sexism thrown at HR Clinton is boggling.

It's still a job for a woman. Apparently not today, and I'm so upset and hurt that it's not today, and I'm not able to get into the other side of the it's-not-Clinton coin just now. It's still a damn job for a woman.