Scarleteen

Hello everyone this is the FIRST thread I have started.
Well the thing is I describe myself as a virgin, but a few days ago in another site there was a survey and one question was are you a virgin? I answered YES
another question was have you masturbated with friends? again I said YES
another question was had you ever had a threesum? I answered Yes have masturbated with friends.
BTW This was a survey for GIRLS.
So a Girl then posted if I masturbated with friends, I was NOT a virgin, so I posted this (below) but she was still making the point I was NOT a virgin, So I would love to hear what you all think. Thanks. XX

VIRGIN
noun
the state of never having had sexual intercourse.
"I lost my virginity"
synonyms: chastity, maidenhood, chasteness, virtue, honour, purity, pureness; More
the state of being naive, innocent, or inexperienced in a particular context.

Hi Naturegirl,

generally, you'll struggle to find any 2 people in the world who agree exactly on what "virginity" is That's because it's a social and cultural concept rather than any kind of physical state.

Generally, people define "virginity" as not having had a particular kind of sex: but what kind of sex they "count" and "don't count" varies enormously. If you only "count" intercourse, that leaves out people who don't or can't have intercourse but do have other kinds of sex, like oral sex and manual sex. Someone who's had a lot of oral and manual sex over many years, but hasn't had any intercourse, would probably not think of themself as a virgin

The dictionary-type definition of not having had intercourse is a fairly narrow, "traditional" and heterosexual-focused definition, coming mostly from the times when what was important about a woman was whether she could possibly be pregnant with a previous male partner's child. If a man wanted a woman in order to have biological children, obviously that possibility would have been unwanted! So, we ended up with value being placed on that kind of virginity for women.

We have some really good (and fascinating!) information on the site about virginity, because unsurprisingly, it comes up a lot. Try Magical Cups & Bloody Brides: Virginity in Context and 20 Questions About Virginity: Scarleteen Interviews Hanne Blank

Ultimately, it's up to you to decide what virginity means to you personally. When you're thinking about it, you'll probably want to choose ways of thinking about sex that fit well with your own self and your own realities: for example, especially if you're gay, does it fit well for you to put intercourse in a different category of sex than other common ways that women can be sexual together?

I guess it does depend on personal definition but I would personally tend to agree NATUREGIRL you are a virgin.