Pleasure Hunt: What physical things do you enjoy doing with a partner that aren't sex

[Sam W]

We talk to lots of people who feel like, if they aren't having penetrative or oral sex (and especially if that sex isn't leading to orgasm), that they're not getting pleasure or pleasuring their partner. So I wanted folks to give examples of pleasurable ways that partners interact that aren't sex. Those examples can still be sexual, such as things you do for foreplay or flirting. Or they can be things that aren't tied to sex, but still bring you and your partner pleasure (like a massage, or going swimming together).

My biggest one is when my partner strokes my neck and back. Sometimes that's part of sex, but there's plenty of times where it isn't. Either way it turns me into a melty, happy person.

How about y'all?

[Kaizen]

Going to separate this into "anyone I'm reasonably close with" and "boyfriend-only", just for fun.

General
- Having my hair brushed/stroked/braided
- Ballroom style dancing ("If dancing like that was still popular, I'd have gone to every dance in high school". I had a housemate who taught me to waltz.)
- Hugs
- Back rubs

Boyfriend
- Lying next to each other, holding hands
- Him cupping my chin in his hand
- Forehead/cheek kisses
- Spooning
- Him resting a hand on my hip (this goes nicely with the dancing)

[Karyn]

Back rubs are the best, and I love it when someone runs their fingers through my hair. And for some reason having the back of my neck touched or kissed (as part of sex, or not!) just makes me melt.

[SeQuinn]

Totally agree with backrubs, hair/neck stroking - I also like the smaller ways that we can express physical closeness in public. I like when my partner puts their hand on my back as we're walking, or reaches across the table to take my hands. Little gestures like that feel good physically and bring me emotional closer to my partner.