Worried he didn't use a condom

[Sam W]

Hi Bree,

You mention being unsure if your boyfriend used a condom when asked. Were you able to see him during and after (before he went to use the bathroom) where you could have noticed if he had it on? Or did he go out of his way to not let you see? You mention some sticky spots, and while those could be from semen they could also be from your own vaginal secretions or any lube that was used.

Can you tell me why you think he may have lied about this? Does he have a habit of trying to find ways around your boundaries?

[Bree2345]

I didn't see him put it on or take it off and i didn't find any wrapper in the trash he said he flushed it and took the wrapper with him. I guess i dont think he's telling the truth because i couldn't tell if ge wore one or not and i didn't see any sign of one.

[Heather]

For the future, this is really something to do and talk about together, so if you are going to keep sleeping with this person, you will want to a) make clear they need to use a condom, and b) make clear that when they do, that's something to make sure you know they're doing.

For this time, though, if you're not sure if they did, it's safest to assume that they didn't, both when it comes to things like STI testing and something like usually emergency contraception, if that's in your options.