Scarleteen

Hi, me(22 y.o) and my girlfriend(21y.o) got together recently. She has a independent Aries personality. She told me that she's a "giver" instead of a "receiver". She likes to pleasure me (going down on me etc). However she said that she does not like being pleasured. She doesnt really feel horny and she would rather give pleasure than to receive. She said that she hasn't received any mindblowing pleasures before. Also, she hasn't experienced an orgasm before. I've tried fingering her etc but it didn't work out. She just asked me to stop after awhile. She even suggested that perhaps she does not enjoy sexual pleasures. I feel that sexual intimacy should go both ways. Thus I need some kind advice.

I think it might be helpful to check out this piece on the idea of reciprocation, or things going both ways: Reciprocity, Reloaded
It's important for both partners in a sexual relationship to feel like they're receiving pleasure and enjoying themselves, but not everyone enjoys the same sorts of intimacy. When you're thinking about intimacy being something that goes both ways, I think it'll be more productive if you think about it as "we are both taking part in things that we enjoy" and not "we're both taking part in the exact same thing." Are there types of physical or sexual intimacy she does enjoy, that you can make sure to focus on? This piece on intimacy here might be helpful to read and talk about together, if you need some ideas.