Was i assaulted?

Questions and discussion about sexual or other abuse or assault, and support and help for survivors.
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This area of the boards is expressly for support and help for those who are currently in or have survived abuse or assault. It is also for those seeking information or discussion about abuse or assault. Please make every effort in this space to be supportive and sensitive. Posts in this area may or do describe abuse or assault explicitly.

This area of the boards is also not an area where those who are themselves abusing anyone or who have abused or assaulted someone may post about doing that or seek support. We are not qualified to provide that kind of help, and that also would make a space like this feel profoundly unsafe for those who are being or who have been abused. If you have both been abused and are abusing, we can only discuss harm done to you: we cannot discuss you yourself doing harm to others. If you are someone engaging in abuse who would like help, you can start by seeking out a mental healthcare provider.
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no
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Age: 25
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Was i assaulted?

Unread post by no »

I think i just got sexually assaulted. I was tipsy and this guy pressured me to do things i was uncomfortable with, but then later he said "but it is up to you" so i am confused? Was i sexually assaulted?.
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al
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Posts: 390
Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2016 10:17 pm
Age: 31
Awesomeness Quotient: I make zines!
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Sexual identity: queer
Location: Colorado

Re: Was i assaulted?

Unread post by al »

no,
I'm really sorry to hear that this has happened to you. It's not your fault and it's not something you should have to deal with.
I can't really answer your question for you, because it's up to each person to define their own experiences. At Scarleteen, our definition of sexual assault usually includes any sexual activity enacted on someone (or that someone is made to enact) without their consent, often through the use of coercion or force.

Unfortunately "it is up to you" sounds like a way for that person to shift the blame off of themselves and minimize the fact that they were behaving in an inappropriate and harmful way. If you didn't tell this person that yes, you specifically wanted to do whatever it was he proposed (especially when alcohol was involved), he did not get your consent, and did not have the right to push you further.

I hope you are in a safe and secure place right now. If not, I would highly encourage you to call 911, the 24/7 RAINN hotline at 1-800-656-4673, or someone you trust to help you at this moment. Please take care of yourself.
Nothing happens in contradiction to nature, only in contradiction to what we know of it. -Special Agent Dana Katherine Scully
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