Scarleteen

So, I don't have any examples, but it seems like some gay characters aren't really gay, like they're gay but they don't have boyfriends/girlfriends, they don't have crushes and they don't talk about attractive people. I don't know. But in the Perks of Being a Wallflower, Patrick is gay, and he has a boyfriend, and he actively mentions his gayness.

It's an interesting point, but I guess I'm wondering why gay characters need to have crushes or be in relationships to be really gay? (Kind of playing devil's advocate here, I suppose, but your post got me thinking!)

I definitely don't think a character (or person!) needs to have a crush/love interest/partner to *be* gay, or any other orientation, but this brings to mind some criticisms I've heard, from friends who keep up with mainstream media (especially comics) more than I do. I've heard some people express frustration that characters are revealed in-story to be gay, for example, with no other detail in the world to support it - and it winds up feeling like the writers are patting themselves on the back for Including A Gay Character!!! without also including any of what you might find in a gay person's life, such as: activism, other gay/queer friends, partners/former partners of their preferred gender, etc. which makes the character feel flat or unauthentic.
I'm not sure if this is what you were getting at or not, Catherwren, but it did come to mind. While I don't think any character needs a romantic interest to somehow prove or validate their orientation, I also think it's best for characters to have some sort of context connecting them to the community and world vs. existing in a sterile vacuum.

Yeah, you're absolutely right that gay characters don't need crushes or girlfriends/boyfriends to be gay, but sometimes it does seem like writers are just doing it so they can be applauded for LGBT content.