Scarleteen

hello, i'm having worries about my first actual time (losing virginity).
i come from a community where a girl should wait until she's married until having sex. I know that many girls does it before marriage, but their spouses are sort of open minded.
i haven't had full sex before, so technically my hymen is not "broken" but i've had sexual acts with a previous boyfriend. my current boyfriend knows that since we talked about this stuff.
my boyfriend has had a trusting issue in the past (not with me) and we are solving this problem together. so it leads him to think that when he'll have sex with me, it will be my first time (which is) and i know that he expects to see a little blood when it happens. he never said it directly but i can know that. and i know that if it didn't bleed he'll start to think that i lied to him and it might cause problems! and since he had a trusting issue i can understand him a little bit.
i don't want to get to this situation, and i'm afraid that it won't bleed the first time ! what do you recommend me to do?

Hi kadhd,

The first thing to know is that people are not "supposed" to bleed the first time they have sex. Many people do due to a combination of tension, inexperience, and insufficient lube. But it's not the "natural" outcome. You can read more about why that is, and I suggest you show this article to your boyfriend as well so he can correct some of the misconceptions he has: My Corona: The Anatomy Formerly Known as the Hymen & the Myths That Surround It

More to the point, if you think he would not take you at your word about your sexual history, then that's a sign he's not a good person for you to have sex with, at least not right now. Sex and intimacy require trust, and if he's not at that place then I suggest you two hold off on having sex.