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Too tight?

Questions and discussion about your sexual lives, choices, activities, ideas and experiences.
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muidet
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Sexual identity: Bisexual Cisgender Female
Location: NYC

Too tight?

Unread post by muidet »

Me and my boyfriend tried having intercourse and it was very painful as we went on. Ive known that im very "tight" but we had lube and everything. Is something wrong? How do I fix this? Thank you
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Mo
previous staff/volunteer
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Re: Too tight?

Unread post by Mo »

Using lube is definitely a good idea. Were you feeling really relaxed and aroused when you attempted intercourse - before you attempted it at all? Arousal helps to make the vagina self-lubricate and the vaginal walls relax and open up a bit. No matter how much lube you're using, if you aren't feeling really relaxed and aroused then it's more likely that you'll experience that tightness and pain.
We have a lot more info on pain with intercourse here: From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse I think reading through this, and taking things really slow with an emphasis on being really aroused and relaxed before you attempt intercourse in the future, is a good starting point.
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muidet
not a newbie
Posts: 18
Joined: Mon Oct 24, 2016 9:55 pm
Age: 23
Awesomeness Quotient: Ambitious
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She/her
Sexual identity: Bisexual Cisgender Female
Location: NYC

Re: Too tight?

Unread post by muidet »

Does it make a difference that I was raped two years ago too? Could my body natueally be getting anxious because of that?
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Sam W
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Re: Too tight?

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi Muidet,

If someone assaulted you, it's possible that some of the pain or tightness is due to your body reacting with fear or anxiety to sexual activities because of what happened. That's something that plenty of survivors say they experience as an aftermath of the assault.

Are you currently, or have you in the past, seen a counselor about the assault?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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muidet
not a newbie
Posts: 18
Joined: Mon Oct 24, 2016 9:55 pm
Age: 23
Awesomeness Quotient: Ambitious
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She/her
Sexual identity: Bisexual Cisgender Female
Location: NYC

Re: Too tight?

Unread post by muidet »

In the past I have, but counseling proved no help with that.
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Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: Too tight?

Unread post by Sam W »

When you say it wasn't helpful, can you tell me more about that?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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