Too tight?

muidet · Unread post by **muidet** » Tue Dec 13, 2016 2:59 pm

Me and my boyfriend tried having intercourse and it was very painful as we went on. Ive known that im very "tight" but we had lube and everything. Is something wrong? How do I fix this? Thank you

Unread post by Mo » Tue Dec 13, 2016 3:25 pm

Using lube is definitely a good idea. Were you feeling really relaxed and aroused when you attempted intercourse - before you attempted it at all? Arousal helps to make the vagina self-lubricate and the vaginal walls relax and open up a bit. No matter how much lube you're using, if you aren't feeling really relaxed and aroused then it's more likely that you'll experience that tightness and pain.
We have a lot more info on pain with intercourse here: From OW! to WOW! Demystifying Painful Intercourse I think reading through this, and taking things really slow with an emphasis on being really aroused and relaxed before you attempt intercourse in the future, is a good starting point.

muidet · Unread post by **muidet** » Tue Dec 13, 2016 9:07 pm

Does it make a difference that I was raped two years ago too? Could my body natueally be getting anxious because of that?

Unread post by **Sam W** » Wed Dec 14, 2016 6:16 am

Hi Muidet,

If someone assaulted you, it's possible that some of the pain or tightness is due to your body reacting with fear or anxiety to sexual activities because of what happened. That's something that plenty of survivors say they experience as an aftermath of the assault.

Are you currently, or have you in the past, seen a counselor about the assault?

muidet · Unread post by **muidet** » Sat Dec 17, 2016 8:04 pm

In the past I have, but counseling proved no help with that.

Unread post by **Sam W** » Mon Dec 19, 2016 6:29 am

When you say it wasn't helpful, can you tell me more about that?

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