Scarleteen

Something I did once with a kinky ex of mine, does it have any risks?

Hi there KittyPink,

If you're talking about holding your pee when your bladder is full, it can increase your risk of getting a urinary tract infection (UTI), because the bacteria have more time to reproduce in the bladder while it's full. Is that the type of risk you're referring to?

I figured UTI's were a risk. (Should be a relative no-brainer.) But, my mother had found out and was excessively fear mongering over it.

This is a (relatively) common kink; it is not my thing but I encounter it often enough in erotica about other things I'm into. (If you don't already, check literotica dot com for tags relevant to what you're into; you can find a lot there! Plus, check this wiki page: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Omorashi)

It can come with a risk of UTIs, but UTIs are generally easy to treat and easy to avoid if you stay on the safe side of extreme play. Knowing your body and playing within your limits can drastically reduce your risk.

You didn't ask for advice on this, but: it sounds like your 'real' issue is your mother fussing about your kink. It might be worth taking some time to think about how you can protect yourself from this in the future by keeping your private details more private - a passcode on your phone, setting texts/email subjects to not auto-display in notifications, clearing history, not sharing information with people who can't be responsible with it, etc. Sexuality and kinkiness are not something to be ashamed of, but they are something most people consider private, and you can protect yourself from unnecessary fussing, shaming, and fear-mongering by knowing who in your life isn't safe to share things with.

No, she found out because my grandmother had told her.

Then it sounds like perhaps you need to take steps to keep certain information safe from your grandmother. It sucks when we can't be open and honest with people in our lives, but if people have demonstrated that they are going to introduce anxiety, shame, or fear-mongering into our lives, or spread information to people who will, consider finding ways to minimize their ability to do so.

Also, you mentioned about avoiding UTI's, any tips?

general tips to avoid UTIs:

-Pee after sex
-Stay hydrated!
-Some people find that cranberry pills/juice help
-Keep your immune system healthy in general (manage sleep, diet, stress, etc.)
-Wear clean, breathable underwear
-Keep sex as clean and safe as possible - use lube that works well with your body, be careful of toys or body parts that are covered in saliva or have touched the anus then getting near the urethra, etc.

Here are some general links:
http://www.ohjoysextoy.com/uti/
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advic ... t_damn_uti
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn ... ealth/utis
http://lifehacker.com/this-video-explai ... 1787698644
http://www.ourbodiesourselves.org/healt ... infection/

As for UTI safety when specifically playing with pee denial, I poked around and couldn't find any articles specific to this kink and how to do it safely, which actually surprised me, since kinksters LOVE to post and share how-to guides and safety tips. Here are some things I found:

http://goaskalice.columbia.edu/answered ... g-your-pee
http://www.thestranger.com/slog/archive ... ow-hold-it

I am NOT a medical professional, but if I was into this, here is what I would do to minimize my risk:

1.) Not do other things that increase my risk of UTIs
2.) Know my body's limits (there is a difference between "uncomfortable enough to be relevant to my kink" and "SOMETHING IS WRONG")
3.) Communicate with my partner about any concerns
4.) Play within my body's limits
5.) Use fantasy play to extend the "limits" - say I know that holding it in for hours and hours is just not realistic, but one play session's worth of holding it is very doable. My partner could do things to exacerbate or highlight my discomfort without actually increasing the physical risk. Examples: make water pouring sounds, "dirty talk" to me about how s/he knows I have to go really badly, make me sit on the toilet but not be allowed to go, etc.

If you do get a UTI, it's not the end of the world - they are easy to treat. (Ignore my advice if you have any immune issues or other health concerns that would make a UTI more dangerous!) Try to figure out what caused it and don't do that again. If this is a kink you really get a lot out of, you may decide that that is a minor risk you are willing to take, and go into it with realistic awareness of how to keep yourself safe and what risk you are assuming when engaging in fetish play.

I have gotten UTIs and yeast infections before, some from doing dumb things like wearing a wet bathing suit all day, others from sex that was just a bit too vigorous for my delicate bits. They were painful and annoying, but in the end, being a person in the world who goes out with her friends to the beach and has kinky sex comes with risks I am willing to assume. Other risks, I am not willing to assume - only you know your own limits.

I have to let you know I'm on a school computer, so I'm not able to read most links.

Of course, that's nothing Google Translate won't solve. (Found out it filters the metadata out.)

However, my bladder has quite some limits, to be honest. Got a little carried away once with drinking juice at school and walked almost a mile with a near full bladder in the dead of winter, anddd.... peed myself at my door. Straight into my boots and jeans, my thighs were soaked in piss.

Although, sometimes I want to hold it until I lose control and pee myself. That incident mentioned wasn't one of those cases.

It sounds like you have a good idea of what you like and what your body can do - my suggestion is to find erotica and/or porn that includes things related to this fetish and figure out what you really like, identify your fantasy, then work with a partner or on your own to find ways to safely live it out!

Sounds like a good idea.