Scarleteen

is there any porn or erotica, whether written or visual regarding pegging where the woman (or possibly i guess even tho i haven't seen it) trans man doesn't humiliate or belittle the man? since it's almost like the porn itself is shaming viewers for enjoying it, and i know there are people who enjoy being called names, even i do sometimes, but strap-on sex is one of those things I don't associate with it, and i think it creates a false idea that males who like being on the "receiving" end of anal are always ultra-kinky and want to be slapped around and emasculated

I'm sure this is something that's out there! Per our policies for the message boards we can't link to any sites that are adult-oriented so this isn't something we can help you find directly, but I do have a thought: if you're at all fandom-oriented then a fanfiction site like Archive of Our Own might be a good place to look.
One thing I think fanfiction or other original free fiction has going for it over commercially-produced porn or erotica is that authors are generally writing with themselves or a specific, small audience in mind, so there's less pressure to conform to any sort of industry standard in terms of content - and in fact a lot of people are specifically creating what they aren't seeing elsewhere. As with any self-publishing community the quality and style will vary a lot, but there is probably someone writing the sort of content you might be into.