Scarleteen

Dear Scarleteen,
thank-you for creating this wonderful website. when i don't feel comfortable asking about something i usually come here.
you can call me Myrtle (don't worry, it's only my middle name)
anyways, to the problem.
i am 14 yrs old and i want to have sex.
i used to watch porn when mum and dad were away, or when they went away for six weeks to uluru and i stayed with my aunt hilary (my dad is a geologist and loves uluru. sorry, back to the point), but i knew that was bad so i stopped and tried to figure out how to masturbate.
it all started when i overheard a conversation my parents were having. i realise that it was an um... private conversation. i asked them what the (sexual) terms they were using meant but they didn't answer so i looked them up. i was 11. i have had this problem ever since.
could someone please help me??? i feel alone. my parents are huge anglicans and would practically disavow me. i am not kidding. please help me soon. i feel guilty all the time

Hi Myrtle, and welcome to Scarleteen.

It's completely normal to be interested in sex and want a sexual partner, and it's nothing to feel guilty about. (Masturbation isn't anything to feel guilty about either!)

When you say you want to have sex, though, is there a particular person you have in mind that you're attracted to, or is it more just a general feeling?

No. i just want it.

i go to an anglican all girls school so its not like i know any boys in the first place. please help me.

Yep, what you're describing is pretty common, especially for someone who is transitioning into their teenage years. Masturbation is likely your best friend right now, as it gives you a means of sexual pleasure and release, as well as giving you the chance to explore your body and learn what you like and don't like.

No. i just want it.

I think it can be helpful to voice what it is you want when you say that.

In other words, you are longing for something -- sex with a partner -- you have not actually experienced, so what you are wanting is obviously your idea of what that thing is, rather than the thing itself.

So, what's your idea about what you're missing? What are you thinking sex would give to you that you want?