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I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.
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We ask that users looking for general, ongoing emotional support post in this area of the boards, and that you use this space to both ask for, give and receive that support primarily from each other, rather than from our staff and volunteers. As a staff, we simply are often too overextended with all we need to do in running the organization and its services to do that for extended periods of time, and one of our main aims of our community at the boards has always been to facilitate peers to better be there for each other.
Users often report that they have no in-person peers they can talk to or seek support from: we want this to be a space for online peer support and somewhere everyone can get some practice asking for, getting and giving support so that doing it with people in your lives feels more doable.
Please remember that neither staff, volunteers nor your fellow users can provide or replace mental healthcare when that is something you need. Users struggling with issues like anxiety, depression, abuse or physical health issues are strongly encouraged to seek out qualified, in-person help with those issues in addition to peer or staff support.
We ask that users looking for general, ongoing emotional support post in this area of the boards, and that you use this space to both ask for, give and receive that support primarily from each other, rather than from our staff and volunteers. As a staff, we simply are often too overextended with all we need to do in running the organization and its services to do that for extended periods of time, and one of our main aims of our community at the boards has always been to facilitate peers to better be there for each other.
Users often report that they have no in-person peers they can talk to or seek support from: we want this to be a space for online peer support and somewhere everyone can get some practice asking for, getting and giving support so that doing it with people in your lives feels more doable.
Please remember that neither staff, volunteers nor your fellow users can provide or replace mental healthcare when that is something you need. Users struggling with issues like anxiety, depression, abuse or physical health issues are strongly encouraged to seek out qualified, in-person help with those issues in addition to peer or staff support.
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I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.
I don't know what to do anymore, I'm not even sure if my lack of wanting to try to even do any work is justifiable. My grandmother is becoming increasingly more common with remarks like "I don't respect her, I only respect my mother. Because you give her more privilege than you do me." (Not things I wanted to give/do.) And other nasty remarks, I'm really starting to feel like I did something to deserve this. I'm considering just literally giving up on school.
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship
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Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.
You absolutely did not do anything to deserve this: no one deserves to be treated poorly. It can be difficult to stay motivated at school when there are other difficult things going on in your life, so what you're feeling is totally understandable.
What kind of support would you like from us around this?
What kind of support would you like from us around this?
"Where there is power, there is resistance." -Michel Foucault
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Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.
Maybe trying to figure out how to get my grandmother to change her mindset, and motivational support.Karyn wrote:You absolutely did not do anything to deserve this: no one deserves to be treated poorly. It can be difficult to stay motivated at school when there are other difficult things going on in your life, so what you're feeling is totally understandable.
What kind of support would you like from us around this?
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship
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Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.
We can certainly offer you some words of encouragement. One way to think about the situation is that, with school at least, giving up there will ultimately only bite you. It won't change her mind, and it will put you in a stressful position. It can also help to think of school as something you get to take pride in (even if you're not a straight A student), if that can help you stay motivated to not give up on it.
As for how to talk to her, there's no guarantee she'll change her mind. Does she change her mind about anything? And if she does, do you have a sense of what things cause that change?
As for how to talk to her, there's no guarantee she'll change her mind. Does she change her mind about anything? And if she does, do you have a sense of what things cause that change?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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- Location: Parma,Ohio
Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.
Changing her mind, I have no idea anymore.Sam W wrote:We can certainly offer you some words of encouragement. One way to think about the situation is that, with school at least, giving up there will ultimately only bite you. It won't change her mind, and it will put you in a stressful position. It can also help to think of school as something you get to take pride in (even if you're not a straight A student), if that can help you stay motivated to not give up on it.
As for how to talk to her, there's no guarantee she'll change her mind. Does she change her mind about anything? And if she does, do you have a sense of what things cause that change?
As for school, I'm actually an almost straight-A student (Mostly A's with a couple C's and B's.) But, I'm failing my Honors Algebra class, right now, and that's really not helping my optimism.
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship
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LIVE AND LEARN
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Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.
If changing her mind seems daunting, do you feel like there's merit in trying to let some of her misconceptions bounce off of you? That can be difficult, but there are a few things you could try.
If you're finding a specific class is hurting your optimism about getting through school, have you had a chance to talk to that teacher about the fact that you're struggling? While there are some exceptions, most teachers want to help their students if they're struggling with the class.
If you're finding a specific class is hurting your optimism about getting through school, have you had a chance to talk to that teacher about the fact that you're struggling? While there are some exceptions, most teachers want to help their students if they're struggling with the class.
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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- not a newbie
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- Joined: Thu Nov 17, 2016 2:11 pm
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- Awesomeness Quotient: I do art.
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- Pronouns: Xe/Xir or She/her
- Sexual identity: Lesbian, switch, polyam, rope addict.
- Location: Parma,Ohio
Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.
I guess letting her bounce misconceptions off me is worth a shot.Sam W wrote:If changing her mind seems daunting, do you feel like there's merit in trying to let some of her misconceptions bounce off of you? That can be difficult, but there are a few things you could try.
If you're finding a specific class is hurting your optimism about getting through school, have you had a chance to talk to that teacher about the fact that you're struggling? While there are some exceptions, most teachers want to help their students if they're struggling with the class.
The reason mainly why the class is suffering is because of my anxiety and lack of motivation, and the fact it's too much to balance.
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship
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LIVE AND LEARN
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- Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
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- Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
- Primary language: english
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- Location: Coast
Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.
If you want to try that, you can try mentally adding "you think" after she says something that you know or feel us not true. That can help you remember that it is her misconception rather than a failure on your part.
Does your school have an academic counselor or someone similar who you could talk to about your options?
Does your school have an academic counselor or someone similar who you could talk to about your options?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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- Joined: Thu Nov 17, 2016 2:11 pm
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- Awesomeness Quotient: I do art.
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- Sexual identity: Lesbian, switch, polyam, rope addict.
- Location: Parma,Ohio
Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.
I pretty much just have to try to salvage the grade if I can for my class, and I never thought about adding "you think" to whatever my grandmother says.Sam W wrote:If you want to try that, you can try mentally adding "you think" after she says something that you know or feel us not true. That can help you remember that it is her misconception rather than a failure on your part.
Does your school have an academic counselor or someone similar who you could talk to about your options?
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship
***Transfeminine***
LIVE AND LEARN
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- previous staff/volunteer
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Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.
It can certainly go a long way towards building up a shield to keep other people's beliefs from constantly poking at you.
Is there anything else we can help you with around this?
Is there anything else we can help you with around this?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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- Sexual identity: Lesbian, switch, polyam, rope addict.
- Location: Parma,Ohio
Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.
Not that I know of.Sam W wrote:It can certainly go a long way towards building up a shield to keep other people's beliefs from constantly poking at you.
Is there anything else we can help you with around this?
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship
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LIVE AND LEARN
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Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.
Okay! If something comes up later, or you want to revisit this, we're here.
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.
Oh, so my grandmother flipped out over me not telling her that I was in a video for my sister's schoolwork. Although, it had just happened a weekend before, so I called her out that this was just ridiculous and that it wasn't a big deal. And, my aunt made a move and grabbed me and I pushed her off.Sam W wrote:Okay! If something comes up later, or you want to revisit this, we're here.
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship
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Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.
Was she trying to restrain you? And is this something your aunt does often?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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- Awesomeness Quotient: I do art.
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- Sexual identity: Lesbian, switch, polyam, rope addict.
- Location: Parma,Ohio
Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.
My aunt gets up in my face and tries to scare me, and I don't think she was trying to restrain me. (And, I certainly wasn't going to wait and find out with the threats she's made before.)Sam W wrote:Was she trying to restrain you? And is this something your aunt does often?
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship
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LIVE AND LEARN
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Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.
Doe she live with your grandmother? And when you say threats, what kind of threats have they been and how likely do you think it is she'd follow through on them (also, good job on getting yourself away from her).
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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- not a newbie
- Posts: 378
- Joined: Thu Nov 17, 2016 2:11 pm
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- Awesomeness Quotient: I do art.
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: Xe/Xir or She/her
- Sexual identity: Lesbian, switch, polyam, rope addict.
- Location: Parma,Ohio
Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.
Yes, she lives with my grandmother. And she's threatened to beat me before, and clearly she's getting close.Sam W wrote:Doe she live with your grandmother? And when you say threats, what kind of threats have they been and how likely do you think it is she'd follow through on them (also, good job on getting yourself away from her).
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship
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- Location: Coast
Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.
Okay, so it sounds like your grandmother's house is even more of an unsafe place for you as long as your aunt is there. and like some safety planning may be in order. Have you told anyone besides us about what your aunt is doing?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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- Location: Parma,Ohio
Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.
Told a counselor.Sam W wrote:Okay, so it sounds like your grandmother's house is even more of an unsafe place for you as long as your aunt is there. and like some safety planning may be in order. Have you told anyone besides us about what your aunt is doing?
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship
***Transfeminine***
LIVE AND LEARN
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Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.
That's an excellent first step. What did the counselor say or suggest?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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- Location: Parma,Ohio
Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.
I haven't got much of a reply and haven't got back to them that it actually happened. Not like it matters, law enforcement won't do anything unless I'm practically clinging to life. And, it seems CPS could care less.Sam W wrote:That's an excellent first step. What did the counselor say or suggest?
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship
***Transfeminine***
LIVE AND LEARN
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LIVE AND LEARN
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- previous staff/volunteer
- Posts: 10320
- Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
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- Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: queer
- Location: Coast
Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.
If you can, I would follow up with them soon, so that they also know the behavior seems to be escalating. You mention CPS, have you had any direct contact with them?
If we haven't shown you this already, this is a safety planning tool that could be very useful to you right now:
The Scarleteen Safety Plan
If we haven't shown you this already, this is a safety planning tool that could be very useful to you right now:
The Scarleteen Safety Plan
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
-
- not a newbie
- Posts: 378
- Joined: Thu Nov 17, 2016 2:11 pm
- Age: 24
- Awesomeness Quotient: I do art.
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: Xe/Xir or She/her
- Sexual identity: Lesbian, switch, polyam, rope addict.
- Location: Parma,Ohio
Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.
I haven't made any direct contact with CPS, yet. But calls have been made by my counselor.Sam W wrote:If you can, I would follow up with them soon, so that they also know the behavior seems to be escalating. You mention CPS, have you had any direct contact with them?
If we haven't shown you this already, this is a safety planning tool that could be very useful to you right now:
The Scarleteen Safety Plan
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship
***Transfeminine***
LIVE AND LEARN
***Transfeminine***
LIVE AND LEARN
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- previous staff/volunteer
- Posts: 10320
- Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
- Age: 33
- Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: queer
- Location: Coast
Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.
Okay, then I would definitely contact your counselor and tell them about what happened, and ask if they can make another report to CPS (FYI, CPS may not investigate after one instance, but the more times they're pinged about a certain case, the more likely they are to actually open a case file).
Are you somewhere safe right now?
Are you somewhere safe right now?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
-
- not a newbie
- Posts: 378
- Joined: Thu Nov 17, 2016 2:11 pm
- Age: 24
- Awesomeness Quotient: I do art.
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: Xe/Xir or She/her
- Sexual identity: Lesbian, switch, polyam, rope addict.
- Location: Parma,Ohio
Re: I have no motivation, I'm shutting down.
I'm at school, I'm seeing if a friend would let me crash at her place if it comes down to it.Sam W wrote:Okay, then I would definitely contact your counselor and tell them about what happened, and ask if they can make another report to CPS (FYI, CPS may not investigate after one instance, but the more times they're pinged about a certain case, the more likely they are to actually open a case file).
Are you somewhere safe right now?
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship
***Transfeminine***
LIVE AND LEARN
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