What my seven-year-old nephew can teach you about readiness
Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2014 5:57 pm
So, my bestie's little guy, who is one of the two primary kids in my life, is seven.
They come and stay with us every summer, and last summer, when on the ferry, we found an advertisement for another island that had zip lines.
My nephew really wants to go on the zip line.
He wants to go on the zip line REALLY, REALLY BAD.
But there is a weight requirement, and he, last summer, was about ten pounds under it.
His immediate response was, with no input from anyone else, was, "Well, looks like I have to gain about ten pounds. I can do that."
So, he's waiting, knowing he will grow. He is playing more of the sports he lives, knowing that builds muscle mass, which means more weight. He is knoshing a little extra when he is hungry. And he is hoping next year will be the year,but if not, oh well, the year after next.
Even though we wants to go SO VERY BADLY. And even though he is only seven, so his patience is only seven-year-old sized.
Why am I telling you this?
Because you can want to have a certain kind of sex very badly, but recognize you are not ready for it - like if you do not feel yet able or willing to use birth control methods or safer sex, or be honest and communicative with partners, or feel able to handle any of the risks it presents. And you, like Liam, can figure you will, in the meantime, do the things you need to do to get ready, and have some patience.
Especially since none of you are only seven.
So, just an ask - for us, who work here, but even more for yourself - to take a tip from Liam. When you know you are not ready for a thing you want, do try and chill, and do what you need to to get ready rather than putting yourself in situations you already know, often from experience followed by nonstop freaking out, that you cannot ably handle and are not ready for.
That is the way to do this stuff, y'all, not continuing to do things taking big risks you do not want to, or doing things that freak you so much you want endless validation to talk you down off a ledge. And if you are not ready for even that, for taking stock of what is needed and taking the time to get to that place? Then that right there tells you it is way too soon for you to be sexual with other people.
Seriously.
(Originally posted by Heather here: http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/ultimat ... 14516.html)
They come and stay with us every summer, and last summer, when on the ferry, we found an advertisement for another island that had zip lines.
My nephew really wants to go on the zip line.
He wants to go on the zip line REALLY, REALLY BAD.
But there is a weight requirement, and he, last summer, was about ten pounds under it.
His immediate response was, with no input from anyone else, was, "Well, looks like I have to gain about ten pounds. I can do that."
So, he's waiting, knowing he will grow. He is playing more of the sports he lives, knowing that builds muscle mass, which means more weight. He is knoshing a little extra when he is hungry. And he is hoping next year will be the year,but if not, oh well, the year after next.
Even though we wants to go SO VERY BADLY. And even though he is only seven, so his patience is only seven-year-old sized.
Why am I telling you this?
Because you can want to have a certain kind of sex very badly, but recognize you are not ready for it - like if you do not feel yet able or willing to use birth control methods or safer sex, or be honest and communicative with partners, or feel able to handle any of the risks it presents. And you, like Liam, can figure you will, in the meantime, do the things you need to do to get ready, and have some patience.
Especially since none of you are only seven.
So, just an ask - for us, who work here, but even more for yourself - to take a tip from Liam. When you know you are not ready for a thing you want, do try and chill, and do what you need to to get ready rather than putting yourself in situations you already know, often from experience followed by nonstop freaking out, that you cannot ably handle and are not ready for.
That is the way to do this stuff, y'all, not continuing to do things taking big risks you do not want to, or doing things that freak you so much you want endless validation to talk you down off a ledge. And if you are not ready for even that, for taking stock of what is needed and taking the time to get to that place? Then that right there tells you it is way too soon for you to be sexual with other people.
Seriously.
(Originally posted by Heather here: http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/ultimat ... 14516.html)