I feel like it is unreasonable for me to be dysphoric about a lack thereof a period?

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KittyPink
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I feel like it is unreasonable for me to be dysphoric about a lack thereof a period?

Unread post by KittyPink »

Just because this is something I'm legitimately bothered about, but everyone's always said that they suck. (Well, no crap, that's like saying you have to have a surgery to save your life. But, the surgery will leave you in bed, in pain for three months.) I mean it also feels weird that this bothers me like it does, though.
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Re: I feel like it is unreasonable for me to be dysphoric about a lack thereof a period?

Unread post by Karyn »

For what it's worth, I don't think it's unreasonable (and feelings don't have to be reasonable or logical to be legitimate, either!). On top of that, how someone else feels about their periods isn't any indication of how you should feel about not having periods.

Can I ask why you feel weird that this bothers you?
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KittyPink
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Re: I feel like it is unreasonable for me to be dysphoric about a lack thereof a period?

Unread post by KittyPink »

Karyn wrote:For what it's worth, I don't think it's unreasonable (and feelings don't have to be reasonable or logical to be legitimate, either!). On top of that, how someone else feels about their periods isn't any indication of how you should feel about not having periods.

Can I ask why you feel weird that this bothers you?
Well, because sometimes my dysphoria is center mainly on that, and like I do mark it as something that would make me a girl.
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Re: I feel like it is unreasonable for me to be dysphoric about a lack thereof a period?

Unread post by Someone »

Everybody's thoughts about their own bodies are different.

Just because we have likes or dislikes about our bodies that may or may not align with others preferences of theirs or bodies in general doesn't mean that your thoughts are inherently bad.

Scarleteen actually did a blog series about a non-fiction book of women and their relationships with their vulvas one of the women, Emily who is transgender also wished she could have a period.

http://www.scarleteen.com/blog/heather_ ... mine_emily

I'm cisgender so I can't relate directly to what you're feeling but even my thoughts about my own cycle very. Sometimes I don't like it, sometimes I'm indifferent to it,

sometimes I'm really glad to get it because my period has always been irregular And if I don't get it for a long time it can be a little concerning.

People are different and that's ok.
KittyPink
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Re: I feel like it is unreasonable for me to be dysphoric about a lack thereof a period?

Unread post by KittyPink »

Someone wrote:Everybody's thoughts about their own bodies are different.

Just because we have likes or dislikes about our bodies that may or may not align with others preferences of theirs or bodies in general doesn't mean that your thoughts are inherently bad.

Scarleteen actually did a blog series about a non-fiction book of women and their relationships with their vulvas one of the women, Emily who is transgender also wished she could have a period.

http://www.scarleteen.com/blog/heather_ ... mine_emily

I'm cisgender so I can't relate directly to what you're feeling but even my thoughts about my own cycle very. Sometimes I don't like it, sometimes I'm indifferent to it,

sometimes I'm really glad to get it because my period has always been irregular And if I don't get it for a long time it can be a little concerning.

People are different and that's ok.
Yeah, unfortunately, I won't be able to have one, ever, probably. I don't know if this is just going to be dysphoria I'll eventually get over.
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Re: I feel like it is unreasonable for me to be dysphoric about a lack thereof a period?

Unread post by Someone »

I apologize I didn't see your previous post before I posted and I didn't realize how much discontent you had in that regard. I thought your main concern was wanting it more out of curiosity like the person in the interview and I'm sorry my post may of come off as insensitive.
KittyPink
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Re: I feel like it is unreasonable for me to be dysphoric about a lack thereof a period?

Unread post by KittyPink »

Someone wrote:I apologize I didn't see your previous post before I posted and I didn't realize how much discontent you had in that regard. I thought your main concern was wanting it more out of curiosity like the person in the interview and I'm sorry my post may of come off as insensitive.
Oh, you're fine, it's okay. I mean there's not much that can be done about it, I'm presuming post-SRS, it will be slightly less distressing. Like I am and always will be curious, though. I've almost considered carrying pads or tampons on me just for my own peace of mind. (Also, bright side about not needing them, I can give them to my friends who may not have any on them.) Like a more tangible curiosity (with hormones), is how boobs feel like.
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Re: I feel like it is unreasonable for me to be dysphoric about a lack thereof a period?

Unread post by Mo »

I think it's great for pretty much anyone with friends who menstruate to carry some menstrual supplies around with them! If you think that would help you feel better it seems like a good thing to try - plus, as you say, it would be useful if a friend ever needs a pad or tampon in an emergency.
KittyPink
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Re: I feel like it is unreasonable for me to be dysphoric about a lack thereof a period?

Unread post by KittyPink »

Mo wrote:I think it's great for pretty much anyone with friends who menstruate to carry some menstrual supplies around with them! If you think that would help you feel better it seems like a good thing to try - plus, as you say, it would be useful if a friend ever needs a pad or tampon in an emergency.
I'm planning on carrying them, well, once I've got things sorted.
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Re: I feel like it is unreasonable for me to be dysphoric about a lack thereof a period?

Unread post by Alice O »

Hi KittyPink,

To second what those above have said--it makes a lot of sense to me that you are experiencing dysphoria around periods. That being said, I'm sorry to hear about the dysphoria :(

You said you "mark it as something that would make me a girl." And so I think you are wise to think it will feel less distressing when you feel more confirmed in your overall identity as a girl!

You also said you "won't be able to have one, ever, probably." I think it'd make a lot of sense if you need to have a period of mourning around this. That being said, I'm wondering if in combination with processing those feelings there are other action steps that could make you feel more connected to periods.

Love your idea of carrying around pads/tampons/other menstrual supplies. I keep my menstrual cup in a pretty cloth bag that makes happy. Maybe you could keep yours in a cute bag that you like? I also know that many people treat the weeks of their periods as a week for extra self-care (eating yummy foods, sleeping with hot water bottles etc.) and/or getting more in touch with their body. Even without having the physical period, this could be a nice way for you to feel connected periods? Finally, this is a little more out there, but since the menstrual cycle and the lunar cycle are often similar lengths of time, some people see a connection between the two. If you are spiritual or interested in this, connecting to the moon and its cycle could be another nice way to feel connected to periods.

Just a few ideas! Take them or leave them as you see fit :)
KittyPink
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Re: I feel like it is unreasonable for me to be dysphoric about a lack thereof a period?

Unread post by KittyPink »

al1234 wrote:Hi KittyPink,

To second what those above have said--it makes a lot of sense to me that you are experiencing dysphoria around periods. That being said, I'm sorry to hear about the dysphoria :(

You said you "mark it as something that would make me a girl." And so I think you are wise to think it will feel less distressing when you feel more confirmed in your overall identity as a girl!

You also said you "won't be able to have one, ever, probably." I think it'd make a lot of sense if you need to have a period of mourning around this. That being said, I'm wondering if in combination with processing those feelings there are other action steps that could make you feel more connected to periods.

Love your idea of carrying around pads/tampons/other menstrual supplies. I keep my menstrual cup in a pretty cloth bag that makes happy. Maybe you could keep yours in a cute bag that you like? I also know that many people treat the weeks of their periods as a week for extra self-care (eating yummy foods, sleeping with hot water bottles etc.) and/or getting more in touch with their body. Even without having the physical period, this could be a nice way for you to feel connected periods? Finally, this is a little more out there, but since the menstrual cycle and the lunar cycle are often similar lengths of time, some people see a connection between the two. If you are spiritual or interested in this, connecting to the moon and its cycle could be another nice way to feel connected to periods.

Just a few ideas! Take them or leave them as you see fit :)
Thanks for the ideas, also, I never knew about the whole lunar cycle thing.
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