Scarleteen

So, the last time I asked for advice on this site was in 2015 when I asked for advice on thinking I was bisexual.

Fast forward to now and I am faced with a new problem. I think I might actually be a lesbian. I am positive I feel sexual and romantic attraction towards women. They're just so soft and sweet and ahhhh! But with guys it's different. I see when a guy is attractive. I feel flattered and blushy when a guy shows interest/ flirts with me. But I just don't seem to want to date/ have sex with guys. I have crushes on celebrity guys but I don't like the idea of you know... being with them. But celebrity girls?? Ooooh boy, I fantasise a LOT (Especially Dodie Clark).

Looking back in the past there have always been hints I guess? For example, I dated this one guy for less than a week before having to break it off because I couldn't do it. Not 'it' as in sex. But 'it' as in be with him. It didn't feel right. And another boyfriend (Who is now one of my best friends and gay ha) who tried to kiss me and I responded by slapping him in the face! But my first girlfriend, I was with for 8 months. My longest relationship. I loved her and I was broken for weeks when she broke up with me. I've even found myself calling myself a lesbian randomly. And getting really uncomfortable when people say I'm bisexual, because it doesn't seem to fit.

I guess what I'm looking for is an answer?? Someone who maybe has experience or just for someone to give their opinion on who I am. I understand I can't expect people to label me for me. I don't want that. But I just want... help. Because this has been eating away and destroying me. It should be so easy but it's not and I just want to be able to say what I am and feel relief.

Hello, there! Welcome back to the boards.

I am sorry you have been feeling so anxious about this, please do anything you can to take care of yourself.

Sexual orientation can be, for sure, very fluid. One thing to keep in mind that might be helpful is that, whatever we decided to call ourselves, it is NOT set in stone, and it is okay to change.

Bisexual doesn't mean that you have to be attracted to both genders in the same way. People who identified as bisexual often feel more inclined to one gender, and some of them change that gender many of times. Life is not a straigh line that you have to follow from start to end, you know? There is a lot of things that can and will matter to you other than just gender.

As you said, nobody can label yorself but you, but I do want you to know that it is absolutely okay to change our labels when we feel they do not fit us anymore. And we can always try a new one, and change it again if it didn't work. Or keep it forever, or not.

Here are a couple of links that I thnk you might enjoy:

http://www.scarleteen.com/article/in_yo ... out_labels
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/polit ... uestioning
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/gende ... r_everyone

Please feel free to holler if you need anything else after you read them.