Scarleteen

Hello. I'm new in this page even when I've been reading it for a long time.

I'm a virgin and I haven't have a boyfriend yet even when I'm 23 years old. So checking in websites I read it could be nice if I try using tampons or fingering myself so have an experience of how can feel being penetrarted if I ever had sex.

The thing is I'm scared of trying to fingering me because I don't know where I have to put and I don't wanna do it wrong. Today I tried to see my vagina like searching for a hole and when I saw one I started to put my finger there. It was wet and when I took it off there was like a white secretion in my finger. I don't know what it is and also, now I feel strange there. Like my body knows I put something there.

I don't know if I was doing it right or what. I wish the school teached us about this because I grew up thinking my vagina was strange because I didn't know big labias are normal too.

And another thing.. when I touch my clitoris, it hurts. Isn't because is too sensitive??

Thanks for reading!

Hi Maeve,

The white secretion you saw on your finger was just your vaginal discharge, something totally normal to have. And yes, some people find that the sensitivity of their clitoris makes it uncomfortable to touch it.

My first suggestion, if you have not tried it already, is to start by taking a mirror and familiarizing yourself with all the different parts of your genitals. Right now it sounds like they feel a little unfamiliar to you, and getting to know them can ease your mind. You can use this article to help you out: Innies & Outies: The Vagina, Clitoris, Uterus and More

Another thing to try is to, for now, only attempt penetration when you're feeling aroused (such as when you're masturbating). If you're tense or not aroused, it can actually make insertion uncomfortable, if not painful. But if you're aroused, it can make exploring down there a little easier. Does that make sense?

Thank you so much for the reply. I'm scared about this topic and it's true I don't know a lot about my genitals because I just started to think about it not so long ago.

People says I'm 'already too old' for being virgin at 23 years old but I keep saying that doesn't work for me and I will wait until I feel ready and comfortable.

So again, thank you so much!

I'm sorry people have told you that you're too old to be a virgin - there's no age by which anyone "should" be sexually active and it's really rude and out of line for anyone to say otherwise. It's fine to take whatever time you need and approach your sexual life at your own pace, whatever that might be.