Hopefully this is the right place.

[Felinor]

A friend of mine comes here fairly often and seems to get solid advice, and after I dropped some fairly heavy subject matter they suggested I give it a try. I'm hoping I fit in that 'emerging adult' category- 22, and definitely still pupating.

Anyway- I've recently (in the last four months) come out as trans (mtf, to save any confusion) to my broader social circles and visited the doctor about it. I'm in the UK, so it's the NHS I'm dealing with. I might be getting pretty esoteric here, so I'll understand if this is too specific.

I've had a pretty rough time of it, though supportive friends and family are things I try not to take for granted. What's been amping up my stress level is the sheer sluggishness of the process, the fact that I go to every appointment knowing more than my doctor(s), and that I've had to chase up the professionals involved after they've lost vital correspondence no less than four times. I'm the second transgender patient this surgery has ever had, so perhaps the level of confusion isn't too surprising, but being unable to get any straight answers has been stressing me out for a long time.

In early January, I finally got a referral to a gender clinic. Since then, things have been very quiet, and nobody at my local surgery can tell me when I'll be hearing anything further. So I resolved to find out myself- I managed to locate the website for this clinic, where I found out the average waiting time for a first appointment after referral is an entire year.

I'm already feeling desperate- this is something I've kept hidden for a long time, and a lot of what pushed me to come out was feeling as if I couldn't tolerate dysphoria anymore. The prospect of going an entire year so I can /start/ getting assessed by another group is too much for me. I am really struggling to find any information that might cast a better light on things, and I don't know anyone who has taken the NHS route, or I would ask them to allay some of my fears. My close family and many of my friends are supportive, but there's only so much I can ask of them, and in many cases they have no idea what I'm talking about.

If anyone can help out, throw some actual informative resources my way, or tell me the magic password to convince the NHS I'm actually serious (probably not that easy, but I can hope) I would appreciate it. I need to believe there's an easier, faster way to begin hormone replacement therapy, as I don't think I have the strength to last another year. I realise the messy state of affairs with my local surgery is probably just something I'm going to have to deal with, but that's really a secondary issue compared to this latest discovery.

[Jacob]

Hi Felinor!

I'm so sorry you are having to go through such a slow and alienating process. I have had a good few friends go through the NHS and it is a process of a few years.

While there isn't a magical password - I wish - they do say anecdotally that they have felt they have had to tell a very steryotypical story about their gender... that they were born in the wrong body, that they exclusively wear the clothes of their gender, even if they don't feel exactly like that etc etc... to be accepted for treatment.

If you are on a 1 year waiting list however that is a long way off. So it sounds like doing things to support you now might be more helpful!

So seeking out community, something which you've already started, can be really helpful. Having people who are in the same situation as you with various pieces of experience to share can be so so helpful.

I don't know where you're located but near me there are groups like TransLeeds with regular meetups and where community can be a source of support.

Action for trans health is based in Manchester but has lots of helpful resources on Gender Identity Clinics, Trans* friendly GPs, hormone therapy and things like that.

I'd also consider looking into more general mental health support / counselling / therapy... if that's something you feel would help you get through some of the harder times.

[Jacob]

Hey Felinor, just checking in to see if you managed to find any of the support you were looking for?