Having trouble understanding my vulva

[Catrabbit]

I'm a teen and have had me period for 4+ years now. I'm curious about sex but want to remain abstinainate until marriage and don't want to masturbate either. I want to start using a menstrual cup during my period but I know I need to understand where everything in my vulva is to use one. I've looked at your diagrams in the article "Innies & Outies: The Vagina, Clitoris, Uterus and More" but I'm having trouble translating them to my own vulva. I think I can distinguish between my inner and outer labia... but when my legs are open the outer labia seem to hardly stand out at all so I could be wrong.

When I open my inner labia I'm totally lost. I think I can see my vagina but there appears to be something in it (kind of like another very small half of a labia) so maybe it's lower and that's just skin (other diagrams I've seen seem to put in slightly higher or lower than others). I can't really distinguish where my urethra is, I'm not sure if it's close to my vagina or my clitoris (other diagrams also have slightly different positions for it too).

And I think my clitoris is where my inner labia meet and I can kind of pull the skin at the top back a little bit... which might be the hood... but I kind of thing it might be the urethra. But I'm really not sure about any of this.

My questions are: How can I figure out where things are so I can use a cup or tampon? I don't want to masturbate but I'm worried touching too much or accidentally touching the clitoris will make it so I want to masturbate and so I do it all the time. Can I stimulate myself too much while trying to find my vagina that this happens? What can I do so I can figure things out but don't become obsessed with masturbating? And feel free to comment on my descriptions on what I'm confused about to help me understand.

[Heather]

You know, the idea that touching one's own genitals or masturbing leads to compulsive masturbation is actually a fear based in mythology about masturbation. In reality, that's just not a thing. And in reality, the vast majority of people who masturbate only do so when they willingly and gladly choose to, not due to compulsion or obsession. So, that truly isn't something you need to worry about.

Your best bet with finding your vaginal canal is to add a clean finger to the mix here. In other words, besides looking, take a clean finger and gentle press around the area you think is your vaginal canal. The vagina is going to be the only thing in that area you can press a finger into: there isn't any other opening you can do that with unless you go way north to your belly button, or south to your anus. Make sense?

[Catrabbit]

Thank you. I was worried that could happen.

I can't hurt or accidently damage something by trying to go into my vagina right?

[Heather]

The tissue of your genitals is a lot like the tissue of your mouth and throat. And just like your throat and mouth, the vagina is basically there with the likely given that be it an infant or body parts with sexual activity, it's going to have stuff in it.

So, just like so long as you use clean hands, and are careful with your vulva and vagina the same ways you would be when putting a finger in your mouth, it's all good.

[Catrabbit]

When I went it, I felt like I was going back instead of up. And there was a hard rope like part in my front that was very hard and solid and that made my finger have to go back instead of straight up or closer to my stomach. Is this normal and will I be able to insert a cup correctly if I have to go back and the front part of my vagina is hard?

[Heather]

Whether going into the vaginal canal feels like going back, going up, or somewhere in the middle is going to depend a good deal how you are sitting (or standing, or lysing down). But in pretty much no position is it100% back or 100% vertical/up.

It sounds like what you felt may have been your cervix (so I'm also guessing you were sitting down when you did this?). In certain positions, at certain times of the fertility cycle, and also based on if someone is or isn't sexually aroused, the cervix can be pretty close to the opening. It's further away during menses as a bit of a rule, but too, nope, it isn't an issue with a tampon or a cup. A cup leaves room for it, and a tampon, if needed, can slide to the side of it (though again, at that time of the cycle, it won't usually have to).

[Catrabbit]

Thanks so much