Desensitizing Lube

[willow1995]

I've had sex...but it doesn't hurt too much but there is a lot of pressure, is that normal? I feel like it is and i have to get used to it but at the same time does desensitizing lube help with the pain?

[Mo]

We recommend against desensitizing lube. Discomfort during sex is no fun, but numbing yourself can lead to more discomfort later; if you aren't able to feel if there's pain or resistance then it can be easier for injuries to happen. Also, having numb genitals during sex isn't likely to make the process feel good for you, and it can actually feel weird or upsetting to some people.

When feeling a lot of pressure during intercourse it could help to slow things down a bit, and maybe focus a bit more on other kinds of sex that are particularly exciting or arousing for you, before attempting insertion. Being more relaxed and aroused is likely to make that feeling of pressure decrease somewhat. Trying insertion with something smaller, like a finger or two, before you attempt intercourse may also help.

While I don't think numbing lube would be a good option here, lube in general is a good idea! Either using more of whatever lubricant you're using, or shopping around for another brand or type that might work better, is something that would be good to try. We have an article about different types of lube that you may find helpful when considering your options: Lube 101: A Slick Little primer