Pressure from Boyfriend

[princess]

I don't really know how to explain this, but here goes.
This will likely be fairly long-winded, so bear with me.

I've been dating this guy for almost a year. He's a really great guy, or he used to be. When we first started dating, I really enjoyed being around him, and talking to him, and I liked everything about him.
As time passed though, we got more sexual than I had been with anyone else before. Which is fine, I wanted that too. But unfortunately, we've kind of hit a point where I'm afraid to go any farther in that direction. To me, it seems like the logical next step from where we are is sex, and I don't want to do that, but he does. He's been very adamant about that. I've told him no every time it's come up, but lately, it's been coming up more and more. It seems like every other conversation we have revolves around sex and how much he wants "to fuck me." It's gotten to the point where no matter where we are or what we're doing, somehow it, without fail, turns sexual. I could be taking about how a lady at the grocery was carrying a blue binder, and he'd find some sexual comment to make. Even just sitting in class, at school, he'll set his hand on my thigh and let it creep higher and higher until I moved it myself. And then he gives me these sad puppy-dog eyes.
Aside from that, since I drive and he doesn't, I typically take him home after school, or band, or drama, or whatever else is going on. It's always the exact same thing. He undoes my seatbelt, pulls me closer, and kisses me( which is fine.) Then he proceeds to grope my boobs, and slide his hand between my legs. I've told him before that I don't like doing that kind of thing in my car, partly because it's technically my mom's car, not mine, and partially because he lives in town, so it wouldn't exactly go unnoticed. But if I stop him when he tries, he closes up entirely, and gets out of my car and walks away without a word.
It's starting to feel less and less like a mutual thing, and more like just pressure. I feel bad that I never want to be sexual because it clearly upsets him, but he talks about it and tries to initiate it so much that I hate even the thought of it. Lately, all I've really wanted was for him to just cuddle with me, but he can't even do that without trying to make it sexual.
I understand that his sex drive is a whole lot higher than mine, likely because we're still in our teens. But it's starting to strain our relationship. I don't really know what to do to fix it, but I also don't want to just do what he wants because I'm uncomfortable with that. I guess my question is, what can I do to fix this?

[Sam W]

Hi Princess,

You're absolutely right that this is pressure, and from what you've described it's no wonder you're feeling uncomfortable. It sounds like he simply will not let this drop, and that even when you tell him things are making you uncomfortable (like the stuff in your car) he keeps pushing. That's really not okay, and is a sign that he's thinks his desires are more important than your boundaries. It's also worrying that he gives you the silent treatment when you set the boundaries in the car. When someone is in the mood and their partner is not, it can definitely be disappointing. But someone who is being a respectful partner will not take that disappointment out on their partner by pouting.

The tricky thing about your question of fixing this is that the dynamic is being caused by him. You can't make him start treating you better, because he's making the choice to act how he is. One possible option (if you haven't already done this) is that you two have a very open, frank talk about where your boundaries are right now and what you're each expecting from the relationship. It sounds like you've been very clear already, but if you want to give him another chance to stop pressuring you, you can talk to him about how your boundaries are non-negotiable and that he needs to respect them. I will say there's a chance that you two may break up as a result, but given how stressed and uncomfortable you are right now, that may not be a bad thing in the long run. Do you think that kind of conversation would be helpful?