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Loss of Sexual Attraction

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Choup95
newbie
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Mar 23, 2017 7:05 pm
Age: 29
Awesomeness Quotient: I'm good at academics
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She/Her
Sexual identity: Demisexual and Pansexual
Location: Louisiana

Loss of Sexual Attraction

Unread post by Choup95 »

Is there a way to retrain yourself to be sexually attracted to your partner, again? My boyfriend and I have been in a 5 1/2 year long relationship, and have had a lot of struggles with our sex life. He's associated not being able to perform with me, and has lost his sexual attraction to me specifically; he's still turned on by other girls. He doesn't want to give up and very much wants to fix this. We want to see a sex therapist, but we don't have access to one. Are there any tips that can be provided to start addressing our problem?
Sam W
previous staff/volunteer
Posts: 10320
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
Age: 33
Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
Primary language: english
Pronouns: she/her
Sexual identity: queer
Location: Coast

Re: Loss of Sexual Attraction

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi Choup95,

I think one question for him to ask himself is whether he's not attracted to you, or if it's more that he's used to you and the sex you two have. In other words, does this actually have more to do with the idea of sex with other people being novel and that's why he's more aroused by it?

You mention he associates not being able to perform with you. Can you tell me more about that?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
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