Scarleteen

Is there a way to retrain yourself to be sexually attracted to your partner, again? My boyfriend and I have been in a 5 1/2 year long relationship, and have had a lot of struggles with our sex life. He's associated not being able to perform with me, and has lost his sexual attraction to me specifically; he's still turned on by other girls. He doesn't want to give up and very much wants to fix this. We want to see a sex therapist, but we don't have access to one. Are there any tips that can be provided to start addressing our problem?

Hi Choup95,

I think one question for him to ask himself is whether he's not attracted to you, or if it's more that he's used to you and the sex you two have. In other words, does this actually have more to do with the idea of sex with other people being novel and that's why he's more aroused by it?

You mention he associates not being able to perform with you. Can you tell me more about that?