Scarleteen

Hi! My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year as of today. He invited me to his house, and my mom said okay, so I brought food and presents for him. When I got there, his parents were not home, and we went upstairs and kissed. He took his shirt off and then his mom got home. I ran and hid in his closet because I was scared, and his mom began to question him as to why his shirt was off. He admitted to his mom that he did kiss me, but he said his shirt was not off while he kissed me and he said he was only was changing it because it got dirty. He also claimed I was in the restroom when she got there.
She took him outside and had a talk with him, telling him she would discuss the issue with his father.
She’s normally so sweet, but I felt nothing but negative vibes from her afterwards.
When I returned home, my boyfriend informed me that his parents took everything away (except his laptop, that’s how he was communicating with me) and that they claimed they had a “loss of respect” for him and I. His birthday is tomorrow as he asked me to go over at 8:00 A.M., and he wants me to go but I am extremely scared and nervous.
I know that they do not necessarily “like” me anymore, and I have so much anxiety and I feel horribly for my boyfriend. We have such a fun, happy relationship and I feel like everything’s ruined. I need advice... What should I do? How should I handle this? I care for him a lot, but I just do not know what to do.

Hi Ariana,

This sounds like a really stressful situation. As for going over there, I would not go over for awhile without some kind of outside confirmation that his parents are okay with it. If part of what got him in trouble is having you over before they were there, they may not react well to you showing up unexpectedly.

Beyond that, there's not a ton you can do right now, as much of what is going on is between him and his parents. Odds are that your relationship with them is not irreparable, and you'll be able to have positive interactions with them in the future. But at the moment, he and they need to talk about what caused this "loss of respect" and if there are new rules or expectations for having a significant other over that need to be observed. Does that make sense?