Scarleteen

As this is my first post, thanks for this wonderful site!

Hanne Blank's article on porn rightly cautions against expecting sex to resemble porn:

Pornography is fiction: it's made up, not real.

I absorbed this idea as a youngster (before Scarleteen) but internalized it too much, to the point where I didn't believe I could ever enjoy sex. I have since learned better but remain sensitive to this aspect of "porn is not real".

With the democratization of porn, it might be closer to "real" than in 2000. I believe a lot of Internet porn, especially unstaged, amateur scenes, show real sexual pleasure. Do you agree?

I'm sure others will have some thoughts on this too, but yes, I do think that some pornography shows real sexual pleasure, and while that might be more prevalent now, there has always been porn that shows people truly experiencing pleasure. My reading of the term 'real' in Hanne's piece is a bit different though; I interpreted that excerpt as saying that porn isn't real because it is scripted, not because the actors are not truly enjoying themselves (even though they may not be). It's that scripted aspect of porn - not the enjoyment of the people involved - that tends to perpetuate problematic or unrealistic ideas about sex, just because it results in images and videos that don't resemble how sex tends to go for most people.

I agree that porn scenes are usually scripted, but the term "not real" also suggests:

• off-screen STI prevention efforts and/or consequences of transmission
• contraception and/or pregnancy
• money and power relationships
• off-screen application of lube or use of arousal tricks
• exaggerated arousal and fake orgasm
• body enhancements such as implants, hair dye, and waxing
• editing out boring parts
• performers hiding pain, fear, or dislike of each other
• performers' unhappy private lives, especially work-related guilt, regret, and relationship trouble

All of these must happen at least sometimes, but "not real" unfortunately gave me license to project my sour-grapes sexual pessimism onto the people on the screen. How about: "Porn is in many ways unrealistic, but relationship sex is often equally or more satisfying than what porn tries to show."