Masturbating

[bluejay]

So I have been masturbating for years and I enjoy it an have no problem reaching orgasm, but I always do it through my clothes. Like I keep my pants or underwear on and don't actually touch my body. Is that weird? I don't know why, but I am very uncomfortable doing this.

I also don't use tampons because I am too afraid to stick something up my vagina. I'm kind of embarrassed because I am 21 and still don't use tampons.

I have just been avoiding these things because I don't really have a reason to try and change, but I feel like this is something that I need to work on, but I don't know what to do.

[Sam W]

Hi Bluejay,

There's no "correct" way to masturbate, and people find different ways of doing so based on their bodies. If what you're doing now works for you, there's no automatic reason you'd need to change. But, if it's making you uncomfortable, then you could start experimenting with other ways of masturbating.

As for tampons, there are plenty of people who don't like using them, so not wanting to is nothing to be ashamed of. You mention both of these things are something you feel you should work on. Can you tell me a little more about why that is?

[bluejay]

"There's no "correct" way to masturbate, and people find different ways of doing so based on their bodies. If what you're doing now works for you, there's no automatic reason you'd need to change." That's basically been my thinking, but I mostly feel like I should work on these things because it's something I don't do because I'm scared, which I feel like isn't a good reason.

I'm also worried because I feel like I won't know how to feel pleasure during actually sex because I won't be able to do it with my clothes on obviously. Also I'm worried that I won't be able to let anyone else touch me, if I can't even do it myself.

[Sam W]

Got it. One approach might be to do this in baby steps. So, start by touching yourself with minimal clothes on, then with no clothes, and so forth. If you wanted to, you could also try getting a small bullet vibrator to experiment with (they're no super powerful or intimidating, so they can help you get used to certain types of stimulation or penetration).