The tricky part is going to be Thanksgiving. Bio-mom and her husband come over pretty much every holiday. They might've been here for Labor Day, but her husband had to work and so they stayed home. I've sort of lost respect for her after hearing how I was treated (as well as other elements of her life I hadn't known about - it wasn't pretty) and I know I'll probably react with some hostility to her visiting for Thanksgiving dinner. My boyfriend has completely lost respect for her and will be outright hostile if she tries to approach us; that's unavoidable and I don't blame him in the slightest. However, bio-mother is very perceptive about mood changes with practically anyone in the family, and mom can't lie to her to save anyone's life, so if she notices my and my boyfriend's hostility, she'll ask about it and I'm not sure how much mom will be able to cover up. (If this isn't very clear, I'll clarify further - just ask! I would use first names but they're both the same
![Shocked :shock:](./images/smilies/icon_eek.gif)
I think I'm mostly asking for tips to help be more polite/pretend I didn't just find this out over the summer, because I don't want her to know I found out (last time she tried to build a closer, 'sisterly' relationship with me was years ago - she friended me on Facebook, then commented on every single thing I posted with her opinion and told my mom about some of the things I posted, even though she promised she wouldn't tell her, so I'd much rather not be her friend on there or have any more contact than necessary). I have settled my thoughts about being adopted (though it has to some extent strengthened my opinion that I'd do best childfree for my mental health), so that's not the issue, it's mostly trying to figure out how I'll react (I have no clue yet) and ways to avoid letting her see that something has changed.
(If this fits better somewhere else, feel free to move it!)