Anal sex not working?

[Jellowl]

Hello!

I've been wanting to try anal sex for a while with my boyfriend and he's up for it. However, it's not going very well.

The first time we tried it, it did not work at all. Pain, pain, PAIN! Looking back, this was our second time ever having sex so I can imagine it was from anxiety and would not work either way (being scared, not enough trust in this area yet, tensed up, etc...). The second time we tried it was after we've had sex multiple times and knew what we were doing and expecting. I trusted him to the fullest so we tried again. I couldn't get more than a few fingers in there without feeling a little pain. When he tried to enter me, the pain was so bad we had to stop. For some reason, I can't relax. I've tried everything but it still won't work.

We have vaginal sex before hand, I'm completly turned on and we use so much lube with everything. I don't understand why I can't do it. I've tried it on my own with an object before and it worked out fine; no pain, easy instertion. Even when he goes slow it will still hurt. I've tried rubbing my clit to do the whole 'pleasure over pain' thing yet that won't work either!

Is there any advice you could lend me to maybe make anal sex go smoother? Is my body possibly not built for this activity?

Thabnks for the advice, hae a lovely day

[Sam W]

Hi Jellowl,

The two major things with anal sex are patience and lube. Like, even more patience and lube than you may be already using. You may also have to build up little by little, so not trying to do full penetration each time. Too, it may be that anal sex isn't something your body particularly likes. You can read more advice about anal sex in this article: Anal Sex Lowdown