Scarleteen

I went down on my girlfriend yesterday and she was comfortable with it but still slightly embarrassed of her vagina and the way it looked or smelled or tasted. I reassured her that everything was perfect and she wanted to go down on me but I'm not ready and I want to be, but I'm almost petrified of her seeing my vagina because I have long labia. And I don't like how that looks on me Idk and my girlfriend has short almost non existent ones and I feel like she'll see my vagina and idk be grossed out and I know that its ridiculous and that all vaginas look different I do know that but my insecurities are holding me back and I talked to her about this and she reassured me that she didn't care and that she was 100% positive my vagina isn't ugly or weird or it wouldn't smell or taste bad but I'm just so scared and I was wondering how to get over that insecurity and be comfortable with my vagina.

Hi Wojo,

I'm really sorry to hear that this is something that is bothering you. Unfortunately, worrying about our bodies and the way that they look is all too common and the solution, which is finding a way to be comfortable with ourselves, can be hard to do.

It sounds like you are a supportive and encouraging girlfriend. Try being that person for yourself too Getting to this point is a different process for every person, that might be verbal or written affirmations, exploring your body more (especially the area that concerns you), looking at pictures of other labia as a reminder that they are all different (and perfect)... but whatever steps you take, please try to patient with yourself! Getting over any insecurity is not something that can happen in a day. It can also be helpful to think of any other times in your life that you didn't feel the most confident about something and how you conquered those feelings.

Here are a few articles that focus on esteem, both in general and specifically when it comes to labia and vulva. I also included some general info about the vulva. As you know, they come in all shapes and sizes, but sometimes it can just be helpful to see that. Please take a look and let us know if there is anything that does or doesn't feel helpful for you.

The Sex Goddess Blues: Building Sexual Confidence, Busting Perfectionism
Give'em Some Lip: Labia That Clearly Ain't Minor
Seven Ways to Love Your Body
Betty Dodson's Vulva Illustrations
Innies & Outies: The Vagina, Clitoris, Uterus and More