I'm in a closeted polyamorous relationship and I need advice.

[velvetfrank]

In June of 2016, my two best friends and I decided that a polyamorous lifestyle was fit for us. We all have a very mutual understanding of each other's needs and wants, as well as a mutual love for each other. However, despite these facts, there is still a few bumps in the road. I'm turning 17 very soon and one of my loves, my girlfriend, is turning 18. My other love, my boyfriend, just recently turned 17. With age also comes times to tell our parents the lives we've been practicing, as well as our friends. I'm very lost and am in need of advice when it comes to this. I love these two with my entire heart and I hate that I feel uncomfortable about being open about them. Only because of people's judgement.

I've got nowhere and no-one else to go to. I sincerely hope that this gets me somewhere.

[Sam W]

Hi velvetfrank,

That fear of judgement can be really unpleasant to carry around, and unfortunately there's no way to guarantee that certain people won't judge you when they find out that you're in a poly relationship. I will say that there's no specific timeline for telling people you're close to that you're poly. Have the three of you discussed why you feel no is the time to let people know and how you all are feeling about that? If you feel it's time to let people know the reality of the relationship between you three, there are a few different things to consider. First, do you have a friend or two who seems like they'd be open and non-judgmental if you were to them you were in a poly relationship? And with your parents, do you have any sense of how they'd react if you told them?