Pregnancy? A lot of pain!

[_itsmeisa]

Hello. I'm a 19 year old girl from Brazil and English is not my native language, so excuse me if I make any mistakes or if my story isn't very clear.

First of all, I would like to thank Scarleteen for always providing trustful, free information about sex education and always helping me staying calm. You guys do an awesome job.

Here's my story:

I've been in a relationship with a guy for 2 months now and we're sexually active. I took plan B about 1,5 month ago because we were having sex in his car and it was too dark to see if the condom had any slippage or if it had broken, so I took it just to be on the safe side. Last month I got my period earlier than expected, with I assumed was due to the hormonal changes caused by the morning after pill.

We had sex last week with a condom on for all kinds of genital contact. We didn't notice if it had broken or slipped because everything looked normal to me. Plus, he pulled out in the middle of his ejaculation so no sperm would be inside me for more than a few seconds, just to be safer.

The thing is: I've been vomiting and having extreme lower back pain for three days now. I went to the hospital twice, got myself blood tested, urine tested, had a x ray made and a ultrasonography and not a thing was said about pregnancy. What the exams did found was an ovary cyst, which the doctor said it was a normal process of the ovulation period. By my own cycle tracking, I shouldn't be ovulating right now; it should have happened about two weeks ago and I should be expecting my period soon. Could this be the morning after pill still disorganizing my cycle? I'm having mild cramping and got a few pimples, which usually happen when I'm about to get my period.

Then, another doctor told me it could be a muscular inflammation and gave me pain killers and told me to wait and see if the pain is relieved.

Should I got myself a home pregnancy test? What are the odds of me being pregnant, or worse, what are the odds of this lower back pain being caused by an ectopic pregnancy? My lower abs are not aching, though. I'm so scared! And more, if I was pregnant, wouldn't all those exams I had showed it, even if they weren't pregnancy exams?

[Sam W]

Hi itsmeisa,

So, since you used condoms and withdrawl on the most recent incident, you chances of pregnancy from that are very, very, very low. However, if you are concerned about pregnancy, taking a home test is the way to get your answer. As for your cycle questions, it's very possible that Plan B had adjusted your cycle, as that;s one of the more common side effects. I do want to ask though, how have you been tracking your cycle?

As for the pain, the most sound option is to do what you're already doing and talk to your healthcare providers about it.

I do want to ask, you sound as though engaging in this level of sexual activity is causing you anxiety. Have you talked with your partner about scaling back what you two are doing to a level where you feel more comfortable?

[_itsmeisa]

Thank you for your reply;
I've always been regular, so I just track my cycle based on the calendar.
Me and my partner had talked about it and we both want to have sex. I've been sexually active for 2 years now so sex is not a new thing for me
About your reply, my questions are:
1) Plan B ajusting cycles? Isn't it supposed to mess everything up due to the huge hormonal dosage?
2) Should I trust condoms as my only contraceptive method? Are they enough? I can't get on the pill because my mom would totally freak out if the found it and would probably try to control my relationship, as she is very strict and don't want me to have sex until I'm married.
3) How about the exams I had made? If I were pregnant, wouldn't the doctors notice and tell me?

And if the doctors say I'm ovulating, isn't it completely impossible for me to be pregnant, since pregnant women don't ovulate?

[Sam W]

So, if you're only counting calendar days, it's not actually the most accurate way to track your cycle. You can read about the way to reliably track your cycle here: Get With the Flow: All About FAM
Yes, plan B does tend to make cycles more irregular (sorry, "adjusting" was a weird word choice on my part). Condoms are a very reliable method, but we always recommend combining methods in order to further decrease the risk of pregnancy. You can read all about that here: The Buddy System: Effectiveness Rates for Backing Up Your Birth Control With a Second Method

As for your exams, the best way to get your answer is to talk to the doctors who performed the tests and ask if they ruled out pregnancy as a possibility. But, again, you can get an answer for yourself by taking a test at home.

[_itsmeisa]

Thank you for the links, I'll check them up

And if the doctors say I'm ovulating, isn't it completely impossible for me to be pregnant, since pregnant women don't ovulate?

So you're saying it's unlikely, but possible? I can't see how in this world I could be pregnant if I used condoms perfectly, but a lot of internet boards say it is possible for sperm to leak out of a perfect condom. I guess the only reason why I'm scared is due to the lower back pain. Is extreme lower back pain a pregnancy symptom? Or ectopic pregnancy symptom?

[Sam W]

So, the boards that are saying that sperm can "leak" out of a correctly used condom are wrong. As long as a condom was used correctly, you can assume that it did its job (but we can never say that intercourse is 100% without risk). So, in your case, it sounds like the condom neither broke nor came off, so you were protected by it.

Back pain is a symptom of many things, which is why it was sound to go to the doctor, because they've been able to give you a sense of what is causing the pain.

[_itsmeisa]

Got it, thank you.
That leads me to another question, if you mind. I just CAN'T understand how condoms are said to be 98% safe when used correctly. If they're used correctly, doesn't it mean it did its job and protected the woman against a pregnancy or STD? I mean, either the woman get pregnant or not, right? So in my understanding, perfect use means 100% effectiveness.

[Heather]

So, effectiveness rates for methods, including condoms, are for one year of use.

Perfect use just means someone followed all the directions for using a method. But someone can still do that and have a method fail. With condoms, for instance, while it's uncommon -- again, 98% effective in one year of use, or, if it makes more sense this way, 2 out of every 100 people using only condoms becoming pregnant in one year of use -- even used perfectly, they can still slip off or break.

With STIs, it's a bit more complex. Again, a break or slip can still happen, but condoms also do not cover the entire surface area of the genitals, so with infections like herpes or HPV, even if a condom is on the whole time, stays on, and no fluids are exchanged, transmission can still occur.

Condoms, for the record -- like every other method -- are not listed as 100% effective against pregnancy OR STIs. They can be for a given user, even over a lifetime, but they will not be for all users, but instead, will be as effective with either of those things as they are listed to be, which again, for pregnancy is around 98% in one year of perfect use, and with STIs, ranges from around 70 - 95% effective, depending on the STI we're talking about.

Make more sense now?

[_itsmeisa]

Oh, yeah, it does!
So, if I used it perfectly and did not have a slip off or break, how can a pregnancy occur if spem can not pass through the latex?
Heather, I would like to get, if possible, your second opinion about my first post on this topic, just to be more relaxed!

[Heather]

Well, a pregnancy will NOT occur if a condom did not fail in those ways or others -- like not being on the whole time, for instance. Again, in one year of use, condoms are 98% effective at preventing pregnancy, meaning every 98 people out of one hundred using condoms for one full year -- not even just one time! -- will not become pregnant because their condom WAS used properly and did NOT slip off or break.

Per your initial post, I'd suggest following up with your healthcare provider per this pain, if it persists. You can also rest assured if you went to the hospital that they tested for pregnancy: that's very standard. But you certainly can call in and check, if you like.

[_itsmeisa]

Got it. I feel much better now, thanks to you guys.
My final opinion about my case is that the pain and nausea should probably be linked to a medical condition other than pregnancy, since lower back pain is a later pregnancy symptom and shouldn't hurt that much for that long. Am I right?

[Heather]

Given the timing alone, there's no way this has anything to do with a pregnancy.

[_itsmeisa]

Good, I'll get myself tested as soon as possible. Thanks a lot.

[Heather]

Truly, I don't see any reason you have to do that unless you just want to. It sounds like you're getting some ongoing care here, so this is something to just ask your provider about. Chances are, again, they already ran a test for you.

[_itsmeisa]

Hello again.
I still haven't got myself tested because my period isn't late yet. Is waiting for the delay the right thing to do to get a reliable result?

Since the doctors said I was ovulating around these days and not a few weeks ago as I believed, should my period be naturally later than usual, then?


I'd still like to add that since yesterday, my breasts became tender and they hurt a little when squeezed; my lower back pain is gone but my lower abdominal cramps have gotten heavier.

[Sam W]

Hi itsmeisa

If you're interested in taking a pregnancy test yourself, you can read about how to do so here: Peeing on a Stick: All About Pregnancy Tests

[Heather]

It certainly is too early to test and get a reliable result per intercourse last week, so yes, you will want to wait.

We cannot possibly predict when your period will arrive, alas. You just need to figure out what you need to wait this out, and by all means, if you have any health issues you are concerned about, like the cramps, you will need to check back in with a healthcare provider.

When did they suggest you follow up with them?

[_itsmeisa]

I went to the emergency service 3 times during the past few days.

The first time, they ruled out kidney stones by analysing the ultrasound.
The second time, they ruled out the ovary cyst possibility claiming it was the ovulation follicle they have seen in the ultrasound.
The third and last time, the OBGYN pressed my lower back muscle and, since I had a lot of pain, he said it was a harsh muscle inflamation and gave me anti inflamatory medicine: I took them and I feel better now, therefore I guess he was right.

I'm having an appointment tomorrow with a kidney doctor for a peace of mind.

Now you have the whole medical story.

[Heather]

What a crappy few days, so sorry!

But sounds like your healthcare providers are doing all they can and being very involved, so really, you just want to keep following their advice and directing your health questions primarily to them.

[_itsmeisa]

Yeah, I feel way better now, thank you for being so comprehensive and sensitive about my worries, it means a lot to me!
I guess the only thing I can do now is wait for me period to come and if it takes too long, take a HPT.
Gosh, it's horrible to be anxious about pregnancy, even though you guys said pregnancy is unlikely.

[Heather]

I understand.

What are you doing to take care of yourself and help yourself to chill out? In other words, what things that, in general, you find relax and soothe you with any kind of stress are you spending time doing now?

[_itsmeisa]

I'm watching tv, listening to music, talking to people and reading. I wish I could go to the gym but it doesn't seem a wise choice after a recent muscular injury.

One thing that really relaxes me is talking about my fears to my best friend and my boyfriend. Both of them think I'm overreacting to the situation and think that I'm safe since I was protected by the condom
My boyfriend got a little scared but he said he's with me and that he's taking me to the drugstore to buy the test and doing it with me when the proper time comes. He is also trying to make me laugh these days and being supportive due to my stressful situation, which is nice.

Have you ever heard of someone getting pregnant while using a condom (no slippage or holes on it)?

[Heather]

Maybe you can come up with some alternative physical activities that you can still do? For instance, if your gym has a pool, most people can swim with muscular injuries, since being in water is very easy on the body.

You know, maybe you could ask your best friend and boyfriend to just listen to your feelings, rather than only talking about how unlikely it is you will become pregnant? After all, how you feel isn't necessarily related to facts. Having your feelings heard and addressed some more might be helpful.

Condoms, in one year of perfect use, are 98% effective, so yes, people do still become pregnant each year with perfect condom use. But the great thing about condoms is that we can usually know when they have failed, because so long as they are on for all genital contact, and put on properly -- and when they do, you can easily see a condom is not torn or broken -- and then don't break or slip off? We can know that for that use, the condom was effective, since those are the ways condoms fail.

Maybe moving forward, btw, you'd feel better about using condoms with another method, instead of condoms alone? If so, I'd be happy to talk about your options with you.

[_itsmeisa]

Sure! I tried to talk about that with my boyfriend in order to know if he would like to have sex without a condom, since I've heard people say it's more sensitive and the pleasure is higher... but he said it's all up to me and my safety.
I can't get on the pill because I would have to hide it from my parents. God knows what would happen if they found out I'm sexually active! They're very strict and would probably try to control me (even though I'm almost 20 and a responsable college student) and that would harm my relationship for sure!
I'm considering going to the OBGYN to get a contraceptive shot prescription. This way I would be protected up to 3 months having to go to a local drugstore only once during the time. Can you advice me about this method? People say it makes you gain weight. I'm 120 pounds trying to get in shape, so this would be a no-no for me!
Also, I would have to go to the OBGYN in secret using my health insurance, which sends a letter every month with the history and costs of the services used: I would be busted.

[Heather]

Okay, so here's the part where I need some help from you to know about some of your options, because my familiarity with some of this in Brazil isn't so great.

Do you know if there are any clinics near you which offer contraception without using insurance, or expressly for young people?

Alternately, is it possible for you to access the cash needed for the method you want -- and we can talk more about methods you can hide, like Depo, in a sec -- and pay for it without using insurance?