Scarleteen

So, there's this sweet, goofy, really cute gal I'm kind of into. I don't know how to approach her about my feelings, though. Like, I don't want to make a bad first impression when I ask. I also don't want to read off as weird or creepy in a bad way. Any help?

Hi Kittypink,

Is this someone you know pretty well, or are at least somewhat acquainted with? Or does approaching her mean approaching someone more in the stranger category?

Sam W wrote:Hi Kittypink,

Is this someone you know pretty well, or are at least somewhat acquainted with? Or does approaching her mean approaching someone more in the stranger category?

I'm somewhat acquainted with her, not super well, though.

Gotcha. Then a good first step would be to say something like, "hey, you seem really cool, and I'd like to get to know you more. How about meeting me for coffee/ice cream/whatever this weekend?" Since it sounds like you're interested in her romantically, you'd also want to be clear that this is a date date and not a friend date.

Sam W wrote:Gotcha. Then a good first step would be to say something like, "hey, you seem really cool, and I'd like to get to know you more. How about meeting me for coffee/ice cream/whatever this weekend?" Since it sounds like you're interested in her romantically, you'd also want to be clear that this is a date date and not a friend date.

I won't be available until next week, and I'm not even sure if I could go out.

Then I'd wait until you've got more availability. With not being sure you could go out, is that a schedule issue or does it have more to do with your home situation?

Sam W wrote:Then I'd wait until you've got more availability. With not being sure you could go out, is that a schedule issue or does it have more to do with your home situation?

More possibly to do with home situation.

Are they preventing you from dating anyone? Or are they more in the vein of not letting you go out at all right now?

Sam W wrote:Are they preventing you from dating anyone? Or are they more in the vein of not letting you go out at all right now?

I'm not sure if I'm going to be let out, all I can do is try.

What tends to determine whether or not you can get out? Is it based on their moods or do they tie it to certain behaviors of yours?

Sam W wrote:What tends to determine whether or not you can get out? Is it based on their moods or do they tie it to certain behaviors of yours?

Behavior, mainly.

Is there a way you can use whatever behavioral stuff they've put in place to at least get to the point where you could ask this person out and go with them somewhere? Or are the guidelines set at your place pretty arbitrary?

You could also try going out right after school. Is that an option?

Sam W wrote:Is there a way you can use whatever behavioral stuff they've put in place to at least get to the point where you could ask this person out and go with them somewhere? Or are the guidelines set at your place pretty arbitrary?

You could also try going out right after school. Is that an option?

I'm going to ask, I'm not sure where the guidelines sit now. And usually, right after school isn't an option.

That sounds like a good starting place. Is after-school not an option because of your family, or for a different reason?

Sam W wrote:That sounds like a good starting place. Is after-school not an option because of your family, or for a different reason?

Well, possibly being busy, and other reasons, or if I have to go out secretly, I'd have to be running constantly.

Maybe before you start thinking about how to go out secretly, it would be worth checking in to see what the current rules in your house seem to be? Just so you have a better idea of what kind of constraints there are.

Karyn wrote:Maybe before you start thinking about how to go out secretly, it would be worth checking in to see what the current rules in your house seem to be? Just so you have a better idea of what kind of constraints there are.

I got the constraints, and now they're pretty reasonable. And, things seem to be going good. (Despite me being really awkward... )

That's good! Fingers crossed things continue to go well.

Sam W wrote:That's good! Fingers crossed things continue to go well.

To be honest, she's so cute! <3 And, she's really, really sweet. (I'll just stop gushing now, and go back to absent-mindedly daydreaming... or something.)