I've forgot how to ask people out?
-
- not a newbie
- Posts: 378
- Joined: Thu Nov 17, 2016 2:11 pm
- Age: 24
- Awesomeness Quotient: I do art.
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: Xe/Xir or She/her
- Sexual identity: Lesbian, switch, polyam, rope addict.
- Location: Parma,Ohio
I've forgot how to ask people out?
So, there's this sweet, goofy, really cute gal I'm kind of into. I don't know how to approach her about my feelings, though. Like, I don't want to make a bad first impression when I ask. I also don't want to read off as weird or creepy in a bad way. Any help?
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship
***Transfeminine***
LIVE AND LEARN
***Transfeminine***
LIVE AND LEARN
-
- previous staff/volunteer
- Posts: 10320
- Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
- Age: 33
- Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: queer
- Location: Coast
Re: I've forgot how to ask people out?
Hi Kittypink,
Is this someone you know pretty well, or are at least somewhat acquainted with? Or does approaching her mean approaching someone more in the stranger category?
Is this someone you know pretty well, or are at least somewhat acquainted with? Or does approaching her mean approaching someone more in the stranger category?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
-
- not a newbie
- Posts: 378
- Joined: Thu Nov 17, 2016 2:11 pm
- Age: 24
- Awesomeness Quotient: I do art.
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: Xe/Xir or She/her
- Sexual identity: Lesbian, switch, polyam, rope addict.
- Location: Parma,Ohio
Re: I've forgot how to ask people out?
I'm somewhat acquainted with her, not super well, though.Sam W wrote:Hi Kittypink,
Is this someone you know pretty well, or are at least somewhat acquainted with? Or does approaching her mean approaching someone more in the stranger category?
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship
***Transfeminine***
LIVE AND LEARN
***Transfeminine***
LIVE AND LEARN
-
- previous staff/volunteer
- Posts: 10320
- Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
- Age: 33
- Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: queer
- Location: Coast
Re: I've forgot how to ask people out?
Gotcha. Then a good first step would be to say something like, "hey, you seem really cool, and I'd like to get to know you more. How about meeting me for coffee/ice cream/whatever this weekend?" Since it sounds like you're interested in her romantically, you'd also want to be clear that this is a date date and not a friend date.
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
-
- not a newbie
- Posts: 378
- Joined: Thu Nov 17, 2016 2:11 pm
- Age: 24
- Awesomeness Quotient: I do art.
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: Xe/Xir or She/her
- Sexual identity: Lesbian, switch, polyam, rope addict.
- Location: Parma,Ohio
Re: I've forgot how to ask people out?
I won't be available until next week, and I'm not even sure if I could go out.Sam W wrote:Gotcha. Then a good first step would be to say something like, "hey, you seem really cool, and I'd like to get to know you more. How about meeting me for coffee/ice cream/whatever this weekend?" Since it sounds like you're interested in her romantically, you'd also want to be clear that this is a date date and not a friend date.
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship
***Transfeminine***
LIVE AND LEARN
***Transfeminine***
LIVE AND LEARN
-
- previous staff/volunteer
- Posts: 10320
- Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
- Age: 33
- Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: queer
- Location: Coast
Re: I've forgot how to ask people out?
Then I'd wait until you've got more availability. With not being sure you could go out, is that a schedule issue or does it have more to do with your home situation?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
-
- not a newbie
- Posts: 378
- Joined: Thu Nov 17, 2016 2:11 pm
- Age: 24
- Awesomeness Quotient: I do art.
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: Xe/Xir or She/her
- Sexual identity: Lesbian, switch, polyam, rope addict.
- Location: Parma,Ohio
Re: I've forgot how to ask people out?
More possibly to do with home situation.Sam W wrote:Then I'd wait until you've got more availability. With not being sure you could go out, is that a schedule issue or does it have more to do with your home situation?
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship
***Transfeminine***
LIVE AND LEARN
***Transfeminine***
LIVE AND LEARN
-
- previous staff/volunteer
- Posts: 10320
- Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
- Age: 33
- Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: queer
- Location: Coast
Re: I've forgot how to ask people out?
Are they preventing you from dating anyone? Or are they more in the vein of not letting you go out at all right now?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
-
- not a newbie
- Posts: 378
- Joined: Thu Nov 17, 2016 2:11 pm
- Age: 24
- Awesomeness Quotient: I do art.
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: Xe/Xir or She/her
- Sexual identity: Lesbian, switch, polyam, rope addict.
- Location: Parma,Ohio
Re: I've forgot how to ask people out?
I'm not sure if I'm going to be let out, all I can do is try.Sam W wrote:Are they preventing you from dating anyone? Or are they more in the vein of not letting you go out at all right now?
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship
***Transfeminine***
LIVE AND LEARN
***Transfeminine***
LIVE AND LEARN
-
- previous staff/volunteer
- Posts: 10320
- Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
- Age: 33
- Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: queer
- Location: Coast
Re: I've forgot how to ask people out?
What tends to determine whether or not you can get out? Is it based on their moods or do they tie it to certain behaviors of yours?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
-
- not a newbie
- Posts: 378
- Joined: Thu Nov 17, 2016 2:11 pm
- Age: 24
- Awesomeness Quotient: I do art.
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: Xe/Xir or She/her
- Sexual identity: Lesbian, switch, polyam, rope addict.
- Location: Parma,Ohio
Re: I've forgot how to ask people out?
Behavior, mainly.Sam W wrote:What tends to determine whether or not you can get out? Is it based on their moods or do they tie it to certain behaviors of yours?
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship
***Transfeminine***
LIVE AND LEARN
***Transfeminine***
LIVE AND LEARN
-
- previous staff/volunteer
- Posts: 10320
- Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
- Age: 33
- Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: queer
- Location: Coast
Re: I've forgot how to ask people out?
Is there a way you can use whatever behavioral stuff they've put in place to at least get to the point where you could ask this person out and go with them somewhere? Or are the guidelines set at your place pretty arbitrary?
You could also try going out right after school. Is that an option?
You could also try going out right after school. Is that an option?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
-
- not a newbie
- Posts: 378
- Joined: Thu Nov 17, 2016 2:11 pm
- Age: 24
- Awesomeness Quotient: I do art.
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: Xe/Xir or She/her
- Sexual identity: Lesbian, switch, polyam, rope addict.
- Location: Parma,Ohio
Re: I've forgot how to ask people out?
I'm going to ask, I'm not sure where the guidelines sit now. And usually, right after school isn't an option.Sam W wrote:Is there a way you can use whatever behavioral stuff they've put in place to at least get to the point where you could ask this person out and go with them somewhere? Or are the guidelines set at your place pretty arbitrary?
You could also try going out right after school. Is that an option?
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship
***Transfeminine***
LIVE AND LEARN
***Transfeminine***
LIVE AND LEARN
-
- previous staff/volunteer
- Posts: 10320
- Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
- Age: 33
- Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: queer
- Location: Coast
Re: I've forgot how to ask people out?
That sounds like a good starting place. Is after-school not an option because of your family, or for a different reason?
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
-
- not a newbie
- Posts: 378
- Joined: Thu Nov 17, 2016 2:11 pm
- Age: 24
- Awesomeness Quotient: I do art.
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: Xe/Xir or She/her
- Sexual identity: Lesbian, switch, polyam, rope addict.
- Location: Parma,Ohio
Re: I've forgot how to ask people out?
Well, possibly being busy, and other reasons, or if I have to go out secretly, I'd have to be running constantly.Sam W wrote:That sounds like a good starting place. Is after-school not an option because of your family, or for a different reason?
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship
***Transfeminine***
LIVE AND LEARN
***Transfeminine***
LIVE AND LEARN
-
- previous staff/volunteer
- Posts: 1407
- Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 3:00 pm
- Age: 40
- Awesomeness Quotient: I collect condoms.
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: queer
- Location: Canada
Re: I've forgot how to ask people out?
Maybe before you start thinking about how to go out secretly, it would be worth checking in to see what the current rules in your house seem to be? Just so you have a better idea of what kind of constraints there are.
"Where there is power, there is resistance." -Michel Foucault
-
- not a newbie
- Posts: 378
- Joined: Thu Nov 17, 2016 2:11 pm
- Age: 24
- Awesomeness Quotient: I do art.
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: Xe/Xir or She/her
- Sexual identity: Lesbian, switch, polyam, rope addict.
- Location: Parma,Ohio
Re: I've forgot how to ask people out?
I got the constraints, and now they're pretty reasonable. And, things seem to be going good. (Despite me being really awkward... )Karyn wrote:Maybe before you start thinking about how to go out secretly, it would be worth checking in to see what the current rules in your house seem to be? Just so you have a better idea of what kind of constraints there are.
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship
***Transfeminine***
LIVE AND LEARN
***Transfeminine***
LIVE AND LEARN
-
- previous staff/volunteer
- Posts: 10320
- Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
- Age: 33
- Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: queer
- Location: Coast
Re: I've forgot how to ask people out?
That's good! Fingers crossed things continue to go well.
And you to whom adversity has dealt the final blow/with smiling bastards lying to you everywhere you go/turn to and put out all your strength of arm and heart and brain/and like the Mary Ellen Carter rise again.
-
- not a newbie
- Posts: 378
- Joined: Thu Nov 17, 2016 2:11 pm
- Age: 24
- Awesomeness Quotient: I do art.
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: Xe/Xir or She/her
- Sexual identity: Lesbian, switch, polyam, rope addict.
- Location: Parma,Ohio
Re: I've forgot how to ask people out?
To be honest, she's so cute! <3 And, she's really, really sweet. (I'll just stop gushing now, and go back to absent-mindedly daydreaming... or something.)Sam W wrote:That's good! Fingers crossed things continue to go well.
"You are a dreamcatcher, you are beautiful to look at and you take the bad away and only give people the good." - Andrea Blankenship
***Transfeminine***
LIVE AND LEARN
***Transfeminine***
LIVE AND LEARN
-
- Similar Topics
- Replies
- Views
- Last post
-
-
New post How to tell people that I’m in a QPR
by Jay27 » Sat Nov 23, 2024 10:34 pm » in Relationships - 7 Replies
- 283 Views
-
Last post by Ro S
Tue Nov 26, 2024 8:15 am
-
-
-
New post How do I become less scared of talking to people?
by Jay27 » Fri Mar 29, 2024 1:57 pm » in Relationships - 5 Replies
- 28459 Views
-
Last post by Sofi
Wed Apr 03, 2024 5:03 pm
-
-
-
New post Why do some people act like it's so easy to get dates?
by forest_wave » Sat Oct 26, 2024 2:07 pm » in Relationships - 6 Replies
- 690 Views
-
Last post by forest_wave
Sun Nov 03, 2024 8:14 am
-
-
-
New post Having low self-worth due to what people said to me in the past
by dazzlerazzle » Thu Jul 18, 2024 11:36 pm » in Bodies - 7 Replies
- 5732 Views
-
Last post by Sam W
Tue Jul 23, 2024 1:09 pm
-
-
- 3 Replies
- 2474 Views
-
Last post by Heather
Tue Aug 13, 2024 2:38 pm